My submissive journey: February 2011

Valentine's Day

February 14th. Valentine's Day. Day of the Hearts. Day of the Lovers.

This is a day that has a lot of hype and controversy surrounding it.
Some think it's a day that only exists for commercial purposes. Other's think it's an important occasion where you should show your lover appreciation and affection.

Historically Valentine's Day had nothing to do with romance, but with a number of martyrs of the name Valentine.
The first recorded association of Valentine's Day with romantic love is in Parlement of Foules (1382) by Geoffrey Chaucer. Chaucer wrote:

For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd co

myth there to chese his make.

["For this was Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate."]

This poem was written to honour the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia.

In William Shakespeare's Hamlet Ophelia ruefully mentions Valentine's Day:

To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn'd his clothes,
And dupp'd the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more.

—William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act IV, Scene 5

However you wish to look at Valentine's Day and whether you choose to celebrate it or not, I think it is good as a reminder to show the people we care for and love that we appreciate them.

One person in an internet community I am part of wrote something in her diary that made me stop and think.
She said that instead of celebrating love on this particular day, we should love and show affection for each other all of the other days of the year instead. And isn't that what we really should do? I don't think it has to be limited to lovers either. Everyone you love and care about, be it friends, family or a partner, let them know that they are loved -every day. We often say that it's the thought that counts. In this case I don't think that's true. A thought has to be put into action to be known by any other than yourself. But it is the small things that say the most. A touch, a kiss, a simple note on the kitchen table saying Good morning, or Have a nice day, or I love you. A text message saying I miss you or Thinking of you. All these little things is what warms the heart of the one you care for. The things we do Just because...

So everyone, remember that it is 365 days to the year -it's not only the occasions that count, remember the little things, the just because...

Changing Views and Moving Boundaries

When I first entered this world -oh so recently!- I immediately thought "NO! No way! Why would I let someone do that?!" about a lot of things. A LOT of things. It fascinates me how quickly things can change.
Most of my initial "Never! That's a Hard Limit for me", have softened, some evaporated, and some have even become something I like or at least want to try.

I've pondered this a bit. At first I thought maybe it was altering because of experience, i.e. I've tried something similar which has played down the initial reaction of the activity. And yes, that is definitely one part to it.

The second one is perception.
I think when you come into this lifestyle and really don't have a clue, a lot of things seem to be way of the map, disgusting, crazy even. Well, I still feel that way about some things. But hey we're all different.

I realized my change in perception after Master asking me questions about likes/dislikes and what I think of certain activities. Then He did it again. With the same question. And I realized sometimes my answer had changed (which was the reason for Him doing it, to see if they did).
The other thing that made me reflect on this was that on one of the Internet Communities I use, there's a Kink list you can fill out as part of your profile. Need I say mine was kinda full of - (minus)? Still is in some ways, just because I don't like to leave it blank for people to draw their own conclusions leading to unnecessary discussions.
But a lot of those - (minuses) have become +, ++, or even LS (Life Style). And that in a very short space of time. For awhile it changed almost daily. And that's because I realized there are different ways of looking at things. Take Age Play for example. That was one thing that fell into the "Eeeh....NO!"- category. Because I took it literally. Now I can see the nuances to it, and it actually became a ++. Weird that isn't it?
Or is it really? Maybe it's a bit like a new location. When you go somewhere for the first time you see the beauty of it; the smell of it, the vibrant colours and you get that warm and fuzzy feeling. And then you move there. And after a while all you see is that long bloody hill you have to walk up to get to the shops, instead of that glorious landscape you saw with your "old eyes".

Now thinking about it, that analogy was kinda bad. Because I think entering into the lifestyle of TTWD does exactly the opposite, well backwards from the above mentioned. My main point though was that after we've looked once, twice, thrice, things appear differently. And things that were kinda glorified in your eyes might look more mundane or at least become of a more realistic view, and what at first seemed really scary and off-limits might be something you actually want to try or even have come to enjoy.

That's the beauty with TTWD -it makes one look at things differently and pushes one to explore and learn, to see outside of what you instinctively think and feel is wrong and bad (because that's what we've been told to think!), it's a journey of self-exploration, going into nooks and crannies you never even knew existed.