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Digging into the Underworld

So according to kiwi the moral of yesterdays story was to not watch any more Underworld. Well that's easily done since we watched the last one yesterday. No i didn't sleep well. Another benzo* night but not as bad at all. So yes stupid, but i'm glad i did it. I have to get past it at some point, and who better to try it with than Sir?
I think there's an even bigger moral to the story though, and that is that you guys are a lot more freak-tolerant than i give you credit for!

Luffs ya guys! All of you.

The actual intolerance of the self-avowed tolerant -- are they really tolerant and accepting, or are they actually intolerant and unaccepting, pretending to be tolerant and accepting?  ?

Sir and i haven't quite gotten back to where we were a few days ago yet, but i hope we're getting there -i need SEX!! *lol* After 5 times a day for a few days, going to Vanilla standards just doesn't cut it =P OK, so he did give me an orgasm (thank you Sir!) -but let's face it, it's not the same is it? I need both =P *greed subbie* We've even been low on BJ's! OK much of that is due to me fucking up my jaw during that car-ride-BJ from the summer *lol*
That and the fact that my tits were kinda-killed-by-mauling during the last one *LOL* I'm sure the break is soon over though ;)

On that note i'll post what many of you probably find annoying (but at least i have ck on my side =P), yes you guessed, my horoscope. Today i like it!




Thursday, November 29, 2012 - When sexy Venus is in your sign, you are even more inclined to delve into the shadows as you seek the magic that often is shrouded in darkness. Today you have a desire to go even deeper, as Venus dances with physical Mars. The only thing that can stand in your way now is you; buried treasure awaits your discovery so face your insecurities and start digging.





Ooh a sneak peek at tomorrow's one was kinda intriguing too! ^^


So, how you guys all doing today?

Have a great day/evening all, and i'll catch yous later!

Muah!



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Jinx Pinx Schminx


Yeah, i know of no one that can Jinx the way i can!

You know that post from yesterday?
Well you can cancel it!
My luck ran out last night. Yep! I wanted spanking? Yes. Not this kinda spanking though. This spanking was no fun. Not laughs and giggles and squirming. It was gritting teeth and tears. It was....dispelling demons in my head. It was...not fun and games.

Also my attitude was different last night. I was no longer feeling warm and connected and loving. I can't say when that changed. I can pinpoint the last thing i did to embody that feeling, but nothing more than that. Maybe Sir can, i dunno.

We'd been watching the second installment of Underworld. Normally i can't watch these things -sadly, because horror stuff was all that i used to watch once upon a time =(
Anyways, with Sir it seems possible. Although this time maybe i didn't walk away from it completely scot free. Afterwards my head was...noisy. I'm not sure i can explain that better than that rather than noise it's pictures. Images, relentlessly flashing behind my retina, and no, it's not nice cuddly pictures. 

Head feels a bit like this....

....

....and sees a bit like this:

i was considering at making these ones into an animated gif.  -but that would just be stupid right?!
Sometimes the geek in me takes over o.O



And yes i Googled that shit! Clever? Not in the least! Guess what next search brought up? Yep the one thing that i absolutely cannot take AT ALL! Yeah, it's what i used to see at night when i was once borderline-psychotic; the fucking girl in The Exorcist (and no that was not a pun, didn't even think of it at first). OK, i'm sharing a bit much here now.....TOO much i think.Anyways....spanking usually helps. Sometimes it starts it but it also relieves it. I'm not gonna use it as an excuse to say that was the reason for my attitude, nor will i say i should not have gotten punished. They were not really related issues.You know, i've really lost my thread here...as you surely have noticed!My phone is calling me, and has been for like the past 2 mins, so i'll go check that then see if i can remember what the fuck i'm talking about when i get back (insert eyeroll).2 mins later: Do i? Do i fuck. Oh well...i guess we skip all the freakish stuff that will just make all of you see me as a freak and go back to the spanking part you all feel at home with.
Yeah, the spanking.It was....endurance.Nothing else.Although nice at the same time. Or nice is not the word, but maybe good?A bit like exorcising demons (excuse the bad pun).Trying to remember what the actual spanking consisted of....Crop, belt, shoe horn. Hand. The usual suspects i suppose.Funny how 1 activity can be perceived so differently in 2 different circumstances huh?
My head's a mess after writing this. Disregard everything i've said, i probably shouldn't have posted it -but you know me, i can't help myself once it is written.













Oh btw, if you're wondering, the spanking and later 2 benzo made sure i slept just beautifully all night long -until Sir wanted me for sex that is ;)

*LOL*


Ciao for now!
Next time i'll try to be more..."normal"
- i promise! (ehm, kinda...)



(Oh and now we're downloading the last movie of the trilogy -wish me luck! *lol* =P)

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Unknowingly granting wishes


You know how i said i hoped for more maintenance and play yesterday? Well sometimes it's like they hear us even though they haven't even read the post, you know?


Sir came home from work early yesterday -to my surprise. It meant i wasn't finished with my chores, but He said it was OK since my time was cut short (i have done them today though btw! *GoodGirlIam*).
I was happy to hear that -i'd been horny all day and just wanted to...well you know ;)
I finished up what i was doing and we had a beer.
It was too early for dinner so we occupied our time with...miscellaneous activities ;)

We ate dinner and enjoyed some nice wine and later we put on a movie (Underworld: Evolution).
Afterwards we moved to the bedroom to be a bit more comfortable and some snuggles (no, that's not covert for sex -that's still to cum come ;) )

Anyways, to get to the important part; eventually we played. *Grins*

He must've been feeling devious because he wanted to put this on me!
Now it's tiny (as you can see, the memory card is just to demonstrate the size), so you might think it's light and innocent too? I can tell you it definitely is not!
Especially not where he put it. Can you guess? No, further down. Yes, not only down there but there. You know?
First time round he could not let it go, it was too much. I took a...what you could call a pain-preparation moment, and then said he could try again. This time he let go. Owowowowch! He's delighted it's on,so what does he do? He gets up and goes to get the bloody camera!
From a different room!!
Hmm i think i might have cursed at this point o- :-) (see the halo? It tilts a bit but it's there! =P). He took a picture then he was kind enough to remove it.
But he didn't stop there. I was told to turn over on my belly and he got the crop, the paddle and the shoe horn. He's become very good at warming up though i must say! =) Took a good "beating" without being all black and blue today =D
After some time i asked Sir if he would consider changing implement. He asked me if i wanted him to go back to the shoe horn (i think), but i wanted the belt. For some reason i like the belt. He was nice enough to grant me my request. I took 28 lashes to start with -i was kinda proud at that, i've only taken 10 without a minutes breather before! But the OCD in me begged him not to stop. He laughed when i told him he couldn't stop at such a number as 28. He wasn't counting -i sure was ;)
We ended up at 50. Yep, 50 *grins*
I think there was some more activity after that but i can't remember. Well, i can't remember what happened right after. I do however remember what came after that. It was time to turn over again! *gulp with a big G*
My memory fails me but i know he used the crop, the shoe horn and the belt. On my stomach/abdomen AND my pussy. I think both sides of the shoe horn, as when he used it on my backside earlier. That hurts -no correction: pussy whipping FUCKING HURTS! And it is so difficult to stay still and not close your legs -the reflex to do so is so strong! (Haha for some reason that makes me think of you Kiwi! =P)
It's not even the pain that is the most difficult to handle -it's the fear of the pain that is difficult.
I'd say 2/3's of pain is in your mind. Therefore you need to be in control of your mind to be able to control the pain. Focus is key. It's when i lose focus that the, what i call, panicky-pain sets in. Panicky-pain is anything but good. It's a show-stopper. This is usually the time i say "Pause" and take a few seconds, or even a minute, to recompose myself, find focus, and maybe even dig deep for some courage. Not to mention willpower and stubbornness. (This is the Pain-preparation moment {from now on known as Ppm})
Now i hope she don't mind me mentioning it, (but since she just posted about it i hope she won't) but me and kiwi has spoken of this before. I've always said it's unfair of her Sir to expect her to be still and stay in position when he gives her pain -especially considering he's not the most light-handed person out there. I never actually realized she meant she was hopping around the room though! *LOL* My sweet sweet kiwi -luffs ya chix!
Her own description of it:

"I jump around like something not quite right, like jumping beans.  I cannot manage to stay in position.  And when I say I don’t stay in position, honesty,I jump up and hop around the room like a kangaroo on speed."
Well, my friend, i hope maybe i've helped you a bit there with what i wrote before. Step 2 is to get Sir to acknowledge it too.
Focus, control and willpower. And when that's failing, a possibility to regain composure by getting a moments "Pause" for some Ppm. Rinse, lather, repeat.



As an end note: let's see what Sir has got in store for me tonight. I'll be sure to let you guys know ;)

Till then have a continued good day or evening depending on where you are.
See you soon!

Just for you kiwi:
 You know   xxx



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Update from Brutusland


Yep, i'm here!

And....it's good. Really good. We're good.
As you know i haven't blogged much lately (read ages), so there's quite a void of information in your direction.
Let me fill you in, as best i can ( you know me and my memory and time perspective and...yeah well all that )...
Over the last few weeks things haven't been as usual between me and Brutus. We've been arguing. Bickering. Discontented. Now, although i am can be very argumentative we've never really argued before. Not as in fighting. Disagreed yes, of course, but not like this. We've both been upset with one another, angry with each other and i think just generally....off. As much as it has sucked i think it has brought something positive with it too.
Rocking the boat may be precarious at times, but it is needed to get ripples on still waters. We needed ripples. The waters had been stock still for far too long, and with it frustration brought to the surface for both of us.
It's been a bit difficult but i think it had to be done and that it was done at the right time at that.
Now i'm here and we're good.
It feels like we're closer, much more warmer towards each other than last time and....connected. Oh and horny! *LOL* we've been fucking like rabbits!
Was kinda fun when Brutus' parents asked what we've done since i arrived "Eeh uhm, we went food shopping and...ehm...we've slept in..." i think Sir's reply was. *LMAO* =P
Well can't really tell the folks we've fucked 5-6 times a day *lol* add spanking to that and i think He'd be in the dog house =P

Speaking of, we had a pretty good spanking session last night. Maintenance style. During it we talked, we laughed and well...occasionally i winced and Ow!'d  ;)
He used The Meany crop, the paddle brush and those big hefty hands of His. Oh and the evil shoe horn! But it was used nicely.
It was good.
i'm hoping for more of where that came from. And play. Hopefully punishment won't be needed, but if it is warranted then that too.

So, we're pretty good.
I only got here late Friday evening, so we have another week before i go back home.

I'll try to keep you updated on the ups and downs and ins and outs (pun intended ;)) of what's going on here in Brutusland.


Till then, be well, stay safe and be happy!







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Annoying?


Yes i'm posting horoscopes again -because they're so damned freakishly spot-on!



Sunday, November 25, 2012 - You may appear cool and aloof, but that's not how you're feeling today. It's more likely that someone has not been listening to you and you're tired of running into the same old wall of resistance. Rather than expressing what's on your mind just like previous times, you're considering what extreme measures it will take in order to be heard. Be patient; a major breakthrough is on the horizon.

(A/n: OK this one wasn't so spot-on, but i did like the last sentence)





Monday, November 26, 2012 - You're ready for fun today, but obligations at work may force you to delay a previously scheduled social event. Unfortunately, your resentment might grow and encroach onto areas of your life that were working fine. Thankfully, you can nip a problem in the bud if you're aware of it, so watch for signs of negativity before it surfaces. Facing difficult issues now enables you to emerge stronger and brighter from any situation.

On the Lurve side of things:
General Weekly Love Horoscope Influences
The week may get off to a slow start socially with needy Venus joining grumpy Saturn on Monday and Mercury barely moving as it turns direct. But the good news is that any self-doubt or possible lack of affection is a fast-moving trend. The diversity-seeking Gemini Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on Wednesday is bound to bring interesting news and sudden surprises to shake things up. Venus' sweet sextile with passionate Mars on Thursday starts a warming trend heading into the weekend that could lead to some cozy and cuddly experiences.



For the Week of Nov 26th, 2012 -- If there's any ambiguity in your relationship life, it's likely to reach a turning point this week. Wednesday's Gemini Full Moon Lunar Eclipse falls in your 8th House of Deep Sharing where issues arise around intimacy. Although discussions with a pal or partner could go on endlessly, it's time to narrow your focus, make a hard choice and move forward. You don't need to have everything go your way to be happy, but you must be clear about what you want for any chance of satisfaction now. The Moon shifts into watery Cancer on Friday, giving you a chance this weekend to connect with someone on a deeper emotional level.






For you that have bothered reading this far: there will soon be an update on me and Brutus ;) 




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Fly fly away!


Sitting at the airport waiting for my flight heading towards Sir  =D

I'm hoping to have plenty of update worthy tattletales for you! ;)



Owly Images

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Good reminders



Now this, this is something to remember!



    Monday, November 19, 2012 - You might not get everything you want today, yet there are still plenty of opportunities to make the best of current circumstances. Part of your problem may be your inflated hopes, leading you to expect things to fall magically into place. Try not to put too much stock in anything that isn't working out, for the immediate changes you make now can bring deeper satisfaction down the road.


For you ALuv!  ;) 
(btw what starsign are you?)





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Digging in


Sunday, November 18, 2012 - You may want to redecorate or reorganize at home with the Moon brightening your 4th House of Domestic Conditions. Whether you are addressing your physical environment or a complicated family problem, this is an opportune time to work through an emotionally charged issue. Tackle the toughest tasks now because you have the determination to resolve them and the fortitude to finish what you start.






Sounds like a plan!


It also works quite well with the domestic tasks (and punishments! more on that later) Sir has been having me doing.
So maybe, just maybe i can pull it off....


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Oh i suck!

....at being submissive right now. I wish i was sucking more like someone in Twilight (IN not to be confused with ON someone! *LOL* Although now that i mention it....=P)

OK, this is not the time to be writing up confessions -it's way beyond my bedtime (OK, so there was a confession anyways) and i should sleep.

Oh and kiwi my friend -thanx! You know why.... <3  (even if it will get me in trouble *lol*)

OK,checking out now.


Cheerio!

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All i say is WOW!

i was sitting at the doorway under the flagpole

Yesterday i was at the Twilight marathon at the cinema - all 5 movies consecutively! And all i have to say about Breaking Dawn Part 2 is WOW! OMFG! and GO SEE IT!! It is AMAZING!









I stood queuing for 2½hrs before the doors opened (so i was lucky and only had around 100 peeps before me -that means about 600 behind me =P), then it was 10hrs of movies + breaks and so on. I got home at 4am this morning.
Only downside was that i had agonizing stomach cramps from like the 3rd movie onwards -but that didn't deter me from staying till the end ;)

It is sooooo good! Beyond anything you could have thought about it beforehand.









Go see it!











To all you non-Twilighters out there: sorry for the ramble =P






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Cool or what?!

Now i know i haven't blogged in yonks! And this is just gonna be a pic post at that, but i just had to show you guys this!Isn't that cool?!

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Scope of the day



ME curious?! Has  n e v e r  happened! You hear me? Never. (said the cat with not so many lives left *lol*)

Well, let's see if this day can lead to some enlightenment then.





Friday, November 2, 2012 - Your curiosity may get the best of you now, but the day's energy has the potential to take you far beyond learning something new. It also involves sharing your ideas with others. Your thoughts could even create sudden illumination, awakening those around you. Nevertheless, don't be too concerned about the effect you might have on someone else. Your personal experience is the most important part of the journey so stick with your process and see where it leads.










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Reading to keep an eye on

Reading to keep an eye on
 

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