Now it's only ONE day left!
A lot of that time will be spent travelling so that's cool.
Soon I will be Home again.
"True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life,through devotion, to something beyond himself."
- Henry Miller
That's my longing, my desire, my craving and my lust -all burning brightly in anticipation to see Brutus again.
My Master. My friend. My lover. My guide. My Home.
Soon, soon I'll be Home. Home in His arms. Burning brightly, in many many ways = P
First I want to explain why the countdown posts have come a bit erratic. I have had problems with scheduling my posts, Blogger has not obeyed my commands! Huh, go figure, it must know I'm a submissive! *LOL* Anyways, I just wrote a moaning test post about it, and lo and behold of course it worked! Shouldn't really complain about that should I?
(*Re-posted with Post Script*)
Today the countdown is down to 7.
Usually I would be put on abstinence as of today -both pain and pleasure- to make sure I'm gagging for it by the time I arrive (haha yes, pun intended).
This time things have worked out a bit different.
For those of you that read Brutus' blog you already know this, but for the rest of you this is what's happened to make this change happen:
I have a set exercise target of at least 1 day/week at the gym + walking to/from nursery as much as possible (that's a bit over a mile and a half/ just under 3km). This is a self-imposed target that has actually been lowered from 3 times a week. So really it shouldn't be difficult at all to reach, especially considering I used to practically live at the gym a while back.
After some times absence (for several reasons) I'm finding it hard to get back into it. I know it's mostly a mental block. That and I'm starting to feel a bit....not low, ambivalent might be a better choice of word.
Last week Thursday I had still not been gym and daughter had been home from nursery all week so I hadn't even been walking. OK, a week ends Sunday (right?) but Brutus asked me if I had been at all.
No, I said ashamedly.
When will you do it?
Friday or Sunday.
(I had a kiddies birthday party to go to on Saturday that would take up the whole day and evening).
Actually, I want you to go tomorrow.
Yes, Sir. (Now wasn't that a stupid thing to say?!)
He jokingly said (well half-jokingly anyways) that otherwise He might just impose a restriction on me so that I will only be allowed to masturbate in the sauna of the gym.
(Now shouldn't this be a great incentive to go??)
I promised I would go.
I don't usually break promises. I never defy out of spite or to be difficult. I do grumble a bit sometimes. Even openly. But I usually do what I'm supposed to do.
I rarely get punished -in fact I can't remember the last time I was!
I just like to please. To please Him all the more.
It brings me satisfaction to do so and it makes me happy. Even more so if I know it makes Him happy.
Sir is also very lenient and gives me a lot of freedom. And He takes waaaaay more cheekyness than most Doms. Not because He is a softy (well apart from when He's my Huggy-Bear *grins*) or because He isn't in control, but because it's the way He likes it (Thank God for that!).
He likes my cheekyness. Not to be confused with brattyness!
He likes me being playful and fun-loving.
However, in this case He decided something needed to be done before it came to the point of punishment. This was now Friday and I still hadn't been to the gym. As I had promised.
I pleaded with Him and cajoled that the week really does end on a Sunday.
Fine, week ends on Sunday so there was no punishment on the Friday, but a telling off for not following the "say what you do and do what you say" motto.
And He decided that something needed to be done right then.
So He imposed that masturbation restriction. It was no longer a joke -or even a half joke!
From now till the day before I leave I will only be allowed to masturbate in the sauna of the gym -and only after I've exercised!
Again, great motivator to actually do the exercise right?
Hmm, yeah one would think.
I know, I know.... I've been a bad girl and not gone. I didn't go on Sunday (this restriction actually saved my ass from a punishment on Sunday! I'd forgotten the daughter had footie practice that would most likely keep me away from the gym -this was pure luck though!). Or Monday, Tuesday or today.
This time I don't have the one week abstinence, because of the masturbation restriction.
I kinda like that week of abstinence though.
Well, OK like may be the wrong word here -it's very very very frustrating! But I like the effect of it. And yeah, considering I'm a masochist I like the suffering a bit =P Even if it means no physical pain.
There is one other thing though, and that is I am supposed to lose at least 1kg before I go, with a target of 2kg. Somehow I've gained.....a few kg over the summer = ( And I had done SO well with my weight loss! Now I'm back to square one more or less. *Red faced with shame and eyes lowered in contrition*
I really do feel bad about that. For failing. And for going from actually starting to like my body to that once again not.
If I fail this it will result in my first punishment delivered by Brutus in person (OK, that is a really appealing idea, but I won't be aiming for it. Really, I won't!).
Anyways...what I'm wondering now is if I should impose the one week abstinence on myself (unless Master would request of me to masturbate or inflict pain on myself of course!). The thought is appealing. I know it has a good effect. But why oh why is it like my body realized today was that day, the day that would be imposed?! Because it's first today that I've become really horny! Yes, like in a need sense. Not just a oh it would be nice sense.
I should have started this two days ago -it's Countdown time!
Yep, there we go! 12 days and counting....
Yep they are floating about en masse right now. It's a great way of getting and giving PR to the blogs we enjoy in our part of Bloggerland. It's not always easy to find blogs of other like-minded people, often we do this through peoples blogrolls, the VBA makes it easier, a bit like LOL-day pulls out the lurkers the VBA's pull out the blog recommendations.
Yesterday I received one from cuddlykitten -Thank you for that! However I won't do another post on it since I have already done the one, you can find it here.
Again, thank you cuddlykitten for the shout out! It's appreciated.
I haven't been managing my exercise as of late, mostly for valid reasons, but for everyday i miss out it makes it twice as hard the next. Let's say it's mounted up to a few days by now (a heck of a lot of days to be truthful!). I was supposed to exercise today, didn't happen -again for a valid reason, although i suppose i could've managed if i'd really really tried to. But i made other priorities. Fairly good ones for "reality", but for following orders, well not so much.
I'm sorry for this, i really am. I never outright disobey. But I procrastinate, I put things off till the last minute and they don't work out because suddenly i don't have that minute to play with.
Dear Sir, i know we've discussed this and that it is "done with" (retrospectively), i'm not wallowing I promise.
Now i have a new task; to come up with a....suggestion of a level of activity to keep up.
This is a difficult one. I tend to be overambitious in my estimate which means that in the long run i will fail. So i'm gonna try to be reasonable -i mean anything above stated amount is a bonus right? And You know how i like my gold stars =D
So here goes:
For my birthday I got a "Gift Voucher" from Brutus. This gives me an evening of my choosing. So what to wish for? It's a difficult task -one I'm not particularly good at! I'm not so fond of asking for things.
But it's my birthday gift and I'm looking forward to receive it -not to mention how much some extra attention from Brutus is....desirable (yeah, desire, I think that is the right description for it).
I will add to the list as I come up with things -feel free to give suggestions!
OK, so let's start a list!
....and I cry if I want to, cry if I want to...
Just for the record -I'm not! There's actually no party either *lol*