To all my blogger friends on the East Coast: stay smart and stay safe! Thinking of you all!
Yep it's a fact!
Sometimes my memory don't last longer than my nose -and i have a small button nose! *lol*
You think you'd remember something you've gone through several times before -or at least slightly recognize it!
But nope...not this one!
What am i talking about? I've fucked up my meds again! Been having withdrawal symptoms -and stupid me didn't really realize until they stopped! *doh!*
One dose -or rather one accurate dose- later and i feel as new again!
Sometimes i feel like i have an IQ of a goldfish and not one above average *LOL*
Anyways...happy to say the evening had a great turn around -maybe i can stop feeling like a junkie going through withdrawal (yeah you'd think that would've been a big enough clue! *Head desk* *LOL*)
I have a cpl posts in mind -i just have to write them too! *lol*
For now though i just wanted to ask -are you guys getting more and more spam comments too? I seem to be inundated with them as of late! I know i don't have word verification, but i haven't for a long time and this has started fairly recently. Anyone else have it too?
Sorry i keep posting these things but they are just so creepily correct!!
This is so true for me! But everyday not just today....
Supposed to go sleep now so i'll have to be brief. Although i don't do brief very well, and i don't really want to because it's something i need to write, b...***OK how on earth could i forget the sentence mid-bloody- le tt e r?!*** *grumbles* sick of myself.
Anyways the point was: the talk came, you know the talk from a few posts back?
Didn't enjoy it one bit, was as horrid as i knew it'd be, and it's by no means done *sigh*
But, maybe breaking my bedtime isn't the smartest thing to do as first thing after the talk?
So i guess i'm off to bed!
5mins ain't so bad though is it, quick for being me?
Anyways, nite nite!
Didn't think i had anything to blog about today. How could i not think to blog about our anniversary?
It's not like i forgot about the anniversary, i just thought "huh, nothing to blog about today"
So, since i'm a woman and remember these things:
"If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me homeI might be afraid, but it's my turn to be braveIf this is the last chance before we say goodbyeAt least it's the first day of the rest of my lifeI can't be afraid, 'cause it's my turn to be brave"
that's the chorus to a song that's been referenced in a fan fic i've been reading (yes, i'm back on that! shame on me). It's a very angsty and at times quite dark story. At one time (like almost 2 years ago now) i had to stop reading it. It was too much....like me. Those of you that have been with me for some time know i have issues and that the last 2 years have been very up & down.
Damn i had this post all worked out!
Hmm actually i think i mentioned it recently; the issue with my dad and his death. Or rather the issue of going to the cemetery. Soon it's been 10 years since he died. I've been there twice since. Once, the first, was when my nana past (dad's mum), the service was in the same place. I didn't linger. Second time was a bit more recent, 6 months maybe?, after i moved here anyways -which happens to be very close to the cemetery btw *sigh*.
Anyways i think i'm rambling. Point of the story is that in the fic the girl goes to her mother's grave for the first time. There she sings this song. I read it yesterday. I listened to the song. I listened to the song today, re-read some of the chapter, listened to the song again, and decided that i too would be brave.
Hyperventilating i downloaded the song to my phone, grabbed my headphones, pulled my hoody over my head, shoes on my feet, pulled on jacket, grabbed keys and left the house.
And....oh i forgot to tell you about the second time! *Eye roll*
Anyways i was walking/jogging to nursery to pick TB up, the road leads me past the cemetery, and i decided to run through it, trying to stop by the memorial grounds on the way. If i stayed a minute i'd be surprised. Panic attack and i fled running.
But you know what? I did it! Today i fucking did it!
I pulled on my headphones, choosing to listen to the very same song as mentioned above
and walked there -and STAYED!
i was gonna write so much more, of how the sun shone at significant moments, and of how i strayed from my way home and ended up on the cliffs, every song heard and every moment spent making pieces fall into place. But it's not really there any more. So i'll leave you here, with this very beautiful, and to me empowering, song.
It wasn't easy, but it was good.
Going downhill you pervs! *lol*
Feels like my blog has done a big steep decline over the last 6 months or so = (
i'm sorry about that.
And i'm not feeling a great one coming on either, SO -so i thought (yeah dangerous stuff!) that you guys could pick a post from this time LAST year and have it revisited, maybe you could pose questions about it or something? I dunno, just trying to think of something new to dust this place off a bit before it suffocates.
So, anything in October 2011 interest you at all? Then give me a holler! OK then, a comment will do.
Stuff came bubbling up this evening during our chat. As usual i didn't follow through. Should probably post what's in my head right now, but i should also go to bed -is bedtime.
Oh and it's very apparent Sir hasn't read any of the blog posts yet. Not gonna enjoy it once He has i don't think. Oh well, we reap what we sow, right?
For now it's time to do as "advised" to -which is sleep!
So Ciao, adios and good night!
Yes, i have to admit to being surprised by the poll results! Especially since there's been some more votes for it being difficult to use even after "the clean up".
Is it really still difficult to use? There's not even many links to follow and i've cut out about half of the content. And i'm not asking because i'm taking offence -i asked for your opinions and i really want it! Because i want to make the blog the best it can be.
So thank you all for voting! Please feel free to comment on how you think it looks now (if you voted earlier) or just want to say anything about it in general.
Looking forward to hearing what you have to say!
Today has been quite good =)
If you wonder why i haven't announced a winner it's because it only got 3 votes -3 different votes- and now i'm wondering: should i really keep running it?
Thanx to those that did vote though! =)
Now i'm going to drink my coffee and i think make another sandwich -sandwich with cheese and Alphalfa was surprisingly nice!
Have a good day all!
- ► 2011 (149)
- ▼ October (19)