be safe!
To all my blogger friends on the East Coast: stay smart and stay safe! Thinking of you all!
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Sometimes i'm just so dense
Yep it's a fact!
Sometimes my memory don't last longer than my nose -and i have a small button nose! *lol*
You think you'd remember something you've gone through several times before -or at least slightly recognize it!
But nope...not this one!
What am i talking about? I've fucked up my meds again! Been having withdrawal symptoms -and stupid me didn't really realize until they stopped! *doh!*
One dose -or rather one accurate dose- later and i feel as new again!
Sometimes i feel like i have an IQ of a goldfish and not one above average *LOL*
Anyways...happy to say the evening had a great turn around -maybe i can stop feeling like a junkie going through withdrawal (yeah you'd think that would've been a big enough clue! *Head desk* *LOL*)
"Comments"
Hiya!
I have a cpl posts in mind -i just have to write them too! *lol*
For now though i just wanted to ask -are you guys getting more and more spam comments too? I seem to be inundated with them as of late! I know i don't have word verification, but i haven't for a long time and this has started fairly recently. Anyone else have it too?
Creepy
Sorry i keep posting these things but they are just so creepily correct!!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012 - You feel the weight of responsibility on your shoulders as the Sun joins heavy Saturn in your sign. Examine what past failures might have to do with your current willingness to help others who may not have asked for your assistance -- whether they need it or not. Your compassion is a gift, but co-dependence isn't a viable path to happiness. Heal others by first forgiving and healing yourself.
Oh holygawd!
This has just had me in stitches laughing till i was literally crying! Thought i'd share (i'm nice that way) =P Enjoy!
Replace Harry Potter with Rob Pattinson and this mom could be me...
Ok... What do you expect from a guy that saves a Girls number as "Future Girlfriend" ??
So true
This is so true for me! But everyday not just today....
Saturday, October 20, 2012 - Your perceptions are particularly sharp today and your tongue might be even sharper. Your comments are likely to be particularly pointed these days and may elicit a defensive reaction from others. Oddly, the more accurate you are with your choice of words, the more difficult it could be for someone to accept your remarks graciously. Go easy on those around you and be gentle with yourself while you're at it.
Criticism free day
So be nice! Please....
Friday, October 19, 2012 - Your self-esteem is on the rise, but you need to be careful not to let casual criticism send you into a tailspin. Although Saturn's two-year visit to your sign means that you're willing to work hard for whatever you want, you may be more sensitive to other people's feedback than you realize. Ultimately, your commitment to excellence speaks louder than someone's unconscious words. Keep your eye on your goal and don't let your confidence slip.
Talk (imaginative title huh?)
Supposed to go sleep now so i'll have to be brief. Although i don't do brief very well, and i don't really want to because it's something i need to write, b...***OK how on earth could i forget the sentence mid-bloody- le tt e r?!*** *grumbles* sick of myself.
Anyways the point was: the talk came, you know the talk from a few posts back?
Didn't enjoy it one bit, was as horrid as i knew it'd be, and it's by no means done *sigh*
But, maybe breaking my bedtime isn't the smartest thing to do as first thing after the talk?
So i guess i'm off to bed!
Goodnight!
5mins ain't so bad though is it, quick for being me?
Anyways, nite nite!
Second lap
Didn't think i had anything to blog about today. How could i not think to blog about our anniversary?
It's not like i forgot about the anniversary, i just thought "huh, nothing to blog about today"
*shakes head at self*
So, since i'm a woman and remember these things:
Sir!
For 2 years He's been putting up with me now -amazing huh?
; )
Brave
"If this is the moment I stand here on my own
If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me homeI might be afraid, but it's my turn to be braveIf this is the last chance before we say goodbyeAt least it's the first day of the rest of my lifeI can't be afraid, 'cause it's my turn to be brave"
that's the chorus to a song that's been referenced in a fan fic i've been reading (yes, i'm back on that! shame on me). It's a very angsty and at times quite dark story. At one time (like almost 2 years ago now) i had to stop reading it. It was too much....like me. Those of you that have been with me for some time know i have issues and that the last 2 years have been very up & down.
Damn i had this post all worked out!
Hmm actually i think i mentioned it recently; the issue with my dad and his death. Or rather the issue of going to the cemetery. Soon it's been 10 years since he died. I've been there twice since. Once, the first, was when my nana past (dad's mum), the service was in the same place. I didn't linger. Second time was a bit more recent, 6 months maybe?, after i moved here anyways -which happens to be very close to the cemetery btw *sigh*.
Anyways i think i'm rambling. Point of the story is that in the fic the girl goes to her mother's grave for the first time. There she sings this song. I read it yesterday. I listened to the song. I listened to the song today, re-read some of the chapter, listened to the song again, and decided that i too would be brave.
Hyperventilating i downloaded the song to my phone, grabbed my headphones, pulled my hoody over my head, shoes on my feet, pulled on jacket, grabbed keys and left the house.
And....oh i forgot to tell you about the second time! *Eye roll*
Anyways i was walking/jogging to nursery to pick TB up, the road leads me past the cemetery, and i decided to run through it, trying to stop by the memorial grounds on the way. If i stayed a minute i'd be surprised. Panic attack and i fled running.
But you know what? I did it! Today i fucking did it!
I pulled on my headphones, choosing to listen to the very same song as mentioned above
and walked there -and STAYED!
i was gonna write so much more, of how the sun shone at significant moments, and of how i strayed from my way home and ended up on the cliffs, every song heard and every moment spent making pieces fall into place. But it's not really there any more. So i'll leave you here, with this very beautiful, and to me empowering, song.
It wasn't easy, but it was good.
I'm good.
Going down
HILL!
Going downhill you pervs! *lol*
Feels like my blog has done a big steep decline over the last 6 months or so = (
i'm sorry about that.
And i'm not feeling a great one coming on either, SO -so i thought (yeah dangerous stuff!) that you guys could pick a post from this time LAST year and have it revisited, maybe you could pose questions about it or something? I dunno, just trying to think of something new to dust this place off a bit before it suffocates.
So, anything in October 2011 interest you at all? Then give me a holler! OK then, a comment will do.
; )
On the surface (or right below)
Stuff came bubbling up this evening during our chat. As usual i didn't follow through. Should probably post what's in my head right now, but i should also go to bed -is bedtime.
Oh and it's very apparent Sir hasn't read any of the blog posts yet. Not gonna enjoy it once He has i don't think. Oh well, we reap what we sow, right?
For now it's time to do as "advised" to -which is sleep!
So Ciao, adios and good night!
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What you're thinking
That's the result of the poll
- i hope such is not the case anymore!
I can understand it looking messy before (however not the difficult to use part to be honest, but it's _your_ opinions that count!) and i hope that is not the case after the "little" clean-up.
I'm always interested in your feedback!
Whether it be about how the blog looks, works, what i write...well just about anything really!
So, please feel free to throw it at me =)
Anyways, i hope some improvement can be seen at least.
Now have a good night all!
Or day, depending on where you are.
Blargh!
**** Warning: This will be a very Vanilla post! ****
(but what's new lately?)
Today is just one of them days. You know the ones you just want to back over with a big fuck off truck? Yeah, one of them days!
Just one thing after another -or no, actually not even that -it was a full 3-in-1 strike.
Took a waaay too long nap in the morning (that turned into afternoon!), woke up from a dream that a spider landed on my leg (Yes, i could actually feel it!) -when i say woke up i mean panic. I hadn't had coffee yet (yeah that alone is bad), and cause i went straight to bed after school drop-off i'd forgotten to take my meds. Meds and coffee isn't the best combo at the best of times. Add that to the fact that a letter from the stupid bank telling me that they'd had one of my dad's yearly statements returned to them by the post and so they'd noticed he's actually not alive. Yeah no shit Sherlock he's been dead for almost 10 YEARS!!
Idiots.
And yes i have unresolved issues about that. Not the bank but my dad *lol*
Decided to try to get hold off my dad's ex-wife, the mother of 2 of my sisters, and although it wasn't really hostile it wasn't really warming either. And i feel this from several directions in my family. A sense of being excluded. I know i've been really bad at staying in touch but....i dunno...i'm just being soppy and over-sensitive today.
Although i'm not imagining the excluding part, it just hasn't upset me as much in the past, i guess i haven't really looked at it before.
i'm seeing more and more as the fog is lifting though.
Anyways just blabbering.
I'll leave you alone now.
Bye!
Surprised
Is it really still difficult to use? There's not even many links to follow and i've cut out about half of the content. And i'm not asking because i'm taking offence -i asked for your opinions and i really want it! Because i want to make the blog the best it can be.
So thank you all for voting! Please feel free to comment on how you think it looks now (if you voted earlier) or just want to say anything about it in general.
Looking forward to hearing what you have to say!
=)
Better days
Today has been quite good =)
- Especially compared to yesterday!
Yesterday i missed my tube by 5 seconds, which meant 9 mins waiting. I forgot to get off the tube and didn't even notice until four stations after!!
(Yes, you're allowed to laugh!)
So, i had to get off the tube and go back. Only the train going back the other way left the station just as we pulled in. What does that mean?
7 mins waiting. So instead of being slightly late, as i would've been, i was 45 mins late to my course(!).
Did it end there? Of course not!
I also managed to ruin the majority of all the work i'd done at the course! Or at least so i thought.
So how has today been better? Well, i didn't miss a single tube, i was only 15 mins late to my course ( =P ), which is completely overshadowed by the fact that not only did i fix yesterdays damage -i improved on it too! *grins*
A tad proud actually. It's really basic and just a shell really, but i have done it myself =D
However, i have taken the opinions in the poll to heart and i hope you can see some improvements. I'm really happy for people voting, it would be lovely if more did so, and even better if you were to specify what you dis/like.
Now it's time for dinner!
So long!
Breakfast PuSS
If you wonder why i haven't announced a winner it's because it only got 3 votes -3 different votes- and now i'm wondering: should i really keep running it?
You decide!
Thanx to those that did vote though! =)
Now i'm going to drink my coffee and i think make another sandwich -sandwich with cheese and Alphalfa was surprisingly nice!
Have a good day all!
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