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Friday, October 5, 2012


**** Warning: This will be a very Vanilla post! ****
(but what's new lately?)

Today is just one of them days. You know the ones you just want to back over with a big fuck off truck? Yeah, one of them days!

Just one thing after another -or no, actually not even that -it was a full 3-in-1 strike.

Took a waaay too long nap in the morning (that turned into afternoon!), woke up from a dream that a spider landed on my leg (Yes, i could actually feel it!) -when i say woke up i mean panic. I hadn't had coffee yet (yeah that alone is bad), and cause i went straight to bed after school drop-off i'd forgotten to take my meds. Meds and coffee isn't the best combo at the best of times. Add that to the fact that a letter from the stupid bank telling me that they'd had one of my dad's yearly statements returned to them by the post and so they'd noticed he's actually not alive. Yeah no shit Sherlock he's been dead for almost 10 YEARS!! 
And yes i have unresolved issues about that. Not the bank but my dad  *lol*

Decided to try to get hold off my dad's ex-wife, the mother of 2 of my sisters, and although it wasn't really hostile it wasn't really warming either. And i feel this from several directions in my family. A sense of being excluded. I know i've been really bad at staying in touch but....i dunno...i'm just being soppy and over-sensitive today.
Although i'm not imagining the excluding part, it just hasn't upset me as much in the past, i guess i haven't really looked at it before.
i'm seeing more and more as the fog is lifting though.

Anyways just blabbering.
I'll leave you alone now.


With love,


kiwigirliegirl said...

Wow that looks like my husband OMG LMAO - OMG i so hope its not.
As for families, they are not easy are they. Especially "blended" ones. I so know. As you know Im a step mum and i have my own child too...its hard work to make sure that none of them feel excluded. ITs not easy. Becuase the last thing I want is any of them to feel how you do my friend :(. Maybe you are approaching a time when you feel you can actually deal with those unresolved issues rather than burying them deep down inside. It might be hard and scary and make you feel all sorts of emotional...but its a good thing. Im here if you need to talk
love and huge hugs kiwi xxx

October 8, 2012 at 1:57 AM

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