Monday, December 3, 2012
He was nice enough to warm me up first - i have to give him props for that, he's gotten really good at doing that! - after that everything is a bit of a blur. I know he used almost all implements: the paddle brush, the shoe horn, the crop, the belt, and i believe that thing he made of my thin studded belt too. All i know is that i've never had a punishment even remotely that severe. And i have never hurt like that before. Ever. Ok childbirth and such discounted. I cried. For me, quite a lot. Not half as much as Sir thought thought nor half as much as i myself wanted either. But i cried. And yes i got those images in my head again. Sometimes spanking helps, sometimes it brings it on. Sir wondered afterwards why i didn't tell him to stop. Why didn't i? Because i didn't find it relevant. Also they'd already started so what was the point? And maybe also that i didn't want to be accused of backing out. Or feel like i did.
But Fuck did it hurt! It hurt like a m-f. Scuse my language (sure you're used to it by now though).
I don't think anything can stop me from that.
I'm still black and blue all over my arse. And lovehandles. Oooh why do they hurt so?! They hurt so bad! I actually laid there quietly taking it all. Well mostly, and i guess it depends on your definition of silent. But there was no howling if we put it like that.
It was when he started using the loopy bit of the shoehorn that he said that i had to let him know when I'd had enough. And that just broke the barrier for me. The excruciating pain and then the all clear to stop it had me begging him to stop. And i mean begging.
I lay there for a while, more or less completely still, quietly sobbing into the pillow. After a little while Sir asked if i wanted a hug. I nodded my head and slowly crawled up to him. Mostly for his sake actually. I know how much he hates punishments, and i think that one was almost as difficult for him as for me -at least mentally.
It was a fair punishment. I deserved it. Like so many other times when i haven't gotten any consequences at all. This time i did. And i am happy for it.