Friday, August 12, 2011
Revisiting
DV over on A Dauntless Journey wrote this post called Doing it right?!?! in January. It got me thinking. It is, yet again, about tears (sorry for being so repetitive). But this time it's more about the cause and effect behind them in TTWD.
This is not about crying out of shame for wrongdoing, it is not about crying because you are frustrated. It's not about crying because you had a lousy day or Lassie was showing on TV.
This is about tears caused by the essence of ttwd; pushing boundaries.
As submissives we are constantly pushed. No, I don't mean pushed-around. We constantly have our expectations and boundaries pushed, moved and altered. Things we in the beginning thought belonged in some horror movie we learn to like - love even!
We get pushed to do things we ourselves don't think we are capable of, both in ttwd and in general. Things that alters us as people; how we deal with things, what we want and dare to strive for, our self-esteem strengthened, emotions solidified and fears faced and overcome.
As already discussed, tears can be cathartic, healing, relieving. They can also be plain sadness or fear. Sometimes fear is good. Our Dominants will make us face them, look them in the eye and tell them Boo! And we will be stronger for it. But you can also just be plain terrified. Terrified is not good. Feeling fear when you know you have someone keeping you safe is one thing, when terrified you do not think someone is keeping you safe, will be there to catch you when you fall through to the other side. Being terrified in ttwd can be extremely damaging.
TTWD runs so deep, is so intense and touches us so profoundly that bringing terror into that would be like bringing terror to our very core.
But now I'm straying.
What got me thinking the most from DV's post was actually the comment that EllaGirl left : "Never fear her tears." There is often joy, happiness, and wonder mixed with her emotional release - on other words, "You may have not broken her but instead broken through"."
I think that takes us back to those walls and barriers again, don't you?
Don't worry, I'm not rehashing that too! *LOL*
I'll leave you with another quote from another commenter:
"any jerk can make someone cry... can break a sub... but it takes a very special Dom to be able to well-manage aftercare and to bring the sub back from across the divide...
better and stronger for it."
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| Soon in a blog near you ; ) |
2 comments:
Nice post and thanks so much for the reference to my post. I'm glad it touched and resonated within you in such a way. I agree with what you said...fear can be good, while being terrified is not. Yet, for me personally, I'm not into using fear just for the sake of it. It's more of pushing boundaries, and a sub having some natural fear of that based upon the unknown. AS the commenter stated...the is a huge difference in breaking her versus breaking through.
August 12, 2011 at 7:42 PMDV
I'm glad you liked it DV, I always worry a bit when writing something sparked from someone else's blog.
August 12, 2011 at 7:50 PMI agree completely with not using fear just for the sake of it. Unless you're into rapeplay or such then I really can't see anything good coming out from it at all.
The breaking through we love -even being as scary as it is (because it really can be very very scary!), but just like the other commenter said, having it done by a Dom that is caring and there to bring one back from the divide, then it is just magnificent.
Thanx again DV!
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