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Sunday, July 17, 2011

Lifestyle mentality - Dominance -

We all know that there are lots of different types of Dominants out there - there are lots off different types of people out there.
But I think maybe we can narrow down the Dom types a bit ;

* The Carer
* The Enforcer
* The Tyrant

 (I will for ease, and for it is written from my perspective, use the term Dom (male), and submissive will be used in it's female form, but of course all constellations of the form can be applied.)

-  The Carer; 
The caring Dominant treasures his submissive. He does everything he can to see to it that her needs are met and that everything is as good as it possibly can be  - now this doesn't always mean that he gives her what she wants! Nor does it mean that he is soft or a push over. Of course he also makes sure that his own needs are met and that his standards are kept.  He still wants service, rules should be adhered to and there are still very defined roles in the dynamic of the relationship.
I would definitively put the "Daddy"-type in this category (not referring to "child-play here).

-  The Enforcer;
This type of Dominant is a bit more strict. Rules can be plentiful and there isn't much leniency given in straying from them. There is often also very High Protocol applied. I can see that this type of Dominance would be the most natural to be applied in a "casual relationship", relations that are 'just' play or service related, i.e. there are no deeper feelings involved. This is also where I would place the Micro-managing Dom. Although very strict and controlling this type of Dom too treasures his sub, even if (when) there is no love present he still looks out for her and has her best interest at heart.
To typify this category I would use the strict "Headmaster" as example.

-  The "Tyrant";
The despotical Dom can often be mistaken for being abusive. The roles are well defined, the rules are set and that is pretty much that. Not much consideration for what the sub thinks or feels are taken into account apart from her hard limits (if they are not, well then they have moved on to the next step which is The Abuser, and that really is no different in Kinky-world than it is in Vanilla-world). Things should be done completely from the perspective that "it pleases him";  it pleases him therefore it shall be (kind of thing). Some even consider limits disallowed (however personally I find this difficult to understand or even see possible). I think many new Doms end up in this category, just because they do what they think a Dom should be like, not yet being their own and making their own path in TTWD. The domineering types that think they are Dominant also gets placed here.

What kind of Dom are You? 

With love,


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