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Tuesday, July 19, 2011


Tonight an article from Submissive Guide dropped into my mailbox. It covers the subject of opening up your relationship for play outside of the relationship the two of you have. Go read it! It is a really good one. I'll give you a quick run through of it. Basically the scenario is that your partner has kinks that you don't  - kinks that are important/vital to them  - would you let them practise these kinks in play with others?

I really found this to be a tough one! My only truly honest answer is 'I don't know'. I'd like to be able to be strong enough to do that  - to let Him be fulfilled. Do I honestly think I could? No, I don't.

I have had threesomes, foursomes even, in the past  - but it has always been as single (and vanilla!). Threesomes have been discussed within relationships before, my answer has always been; I'd like to, but I don't actually think I could.
I don't share. I can't imagine seeing someone I love being intimate with someone else. I'm of the jealous kind  - that I'll admit (Hey, I'm a Scorpio! ;-) ).
Is it selfish? Yeah I suppose it is. To be honest though, in the case of a threesome I don't think it is a "vital kink". But what about those important kinks? If I couldn't give my man something that he needs to be truly happy, fulfilled, could I then? Could I overcome my fears and insecurities for His happiness and fulfilment? Could you?With love,


mijena said...

That's a good question. I don't know if I could share either. I really don't share well. Actually not at all, but with Sir I have found I am doing things I traditionally wouldn't do. So I guess I truly won't know the answer until the question is asked.

July 19, 2011 at 4:39 AM
Anonymous said...

My concern would be, is this how you want me to prove my love?

July 19, 2011 at 4:40 AM
Sweet girl said...

mijena: no i guess you are right, you never _really_ know until you are faced with having to make the decision -being hypothetical is always different.
K: I don't think it's so much about "proving your love" as it is a matter 'giving', enabling your loved one's happiness and contentment. But it is not an easy thing to do and can be a big ask. I do think though that it is hugely about insecurities and trust is an integral part of the decision making -if you haven't already I'd suggest you read the article, it really put my thoughts on it on end! I was sure it was a resounding NO, but the way she put it.... I don't know, it made me feel bad about not even considering it. But it would be difficult for me to do and my biggest concern would be 'will this hurt me too much?' because it shouldn't damage anyone emotionally.
It really is a tough one.

July 19, 2011 at 11:26 AM
sl said...

What a tough question, it's really difficult to face & answer it. There will be so much struggles on whether i can give up my selfishness and ignore my own emotions.

July 19, 2011 at 5:37 PM
blossom said...

Hi SweetGirl

i have not found myself in that position, and i feel i would find it difficult if that was asked of me. Like you i would be jealous, jealous of the fact that the other person who was meeting his needs would be better than me, would that lead on to me feeling i would never be good enough for him, definitely a difficult question to ask and answer until one is put into that position.

blossom x

July 22, 2011 at 9:32 PM
Sweet girl said...

indeed blossom -let's hope we the jealous types never will have to face it! :)

July 22, 2011 at 9:50 PM
sin said...

I have shared and it's hard. I think some people don't feel jealous, and sometimes I don't feel jealous, but honestly, I often do.

July 23, 2011 at 9:45 PM

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