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Monday, January 30, 2012


Following the gym fiasco of last week i've gotten a major stick wielded at me. Major.

It actually scares me. No it's not dangerous. It could not harm me. But it would completely...completely what? I'm actually not sure. It would make my heart ache. It's bad when He's away for work. Not getting to speak with Sir knowing He's available is something else. It would be like waving a  water bottle in front of a man dying from thirst. Will it motivate me? Doubtful. Not because i am willing to endure it, but because motivation has to come from within. Will it get my ass in gear? If this don't then fuck knows what will! I've forgotten to tell you what the stick is haven't i? I'll get a deadline for when gym requirements will have to have been met. I'm to let Sir know when it is. If it is not then He won't come online until it is. This week i've got to do it twice, making up for last week. Wednesday and Friday -feel free to be on my back about it!! I need to do this. I NEED to. Weird thing is i love the gym. So why the f**k am i struggling so with it? Your guess is as good as mine. Time to get that fat ass out of the wagon. Like having gained all the weight i'd worked so hard to lose shouldn't be motivation enough. Or maybe that's just it? I did it and then i fucked it up and now i'm discouraged? Yeah that's actually quite likely. I need to get that enthusiasm going again. Maybe knowing my punishment would punish Brutus just as hard will do it. The last thing i want is to hurt Him. Hurting Him is like hurting myself i was about to say. But it's not, it's worse, much worse.

Brutus: i love You and will always do anything in my power to not hurt You.

I'll fix this. For You. For Us.

Hoping to turn the stick into an olive branch.

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With love,


Mikki said...

Here's to olive branches!! You can do this! I'm in the same spot... I need motivation.... but I'll need a different stick than that! ;o)

You can do this!! ;o)

January 30, 2012 at 4:14 PM
Sweet girl said...

Mikki: there are lots of different "sticks" ;)
i need them both =P or 3 with the above mentioned -i much prefer the other two than this one!

January 30, 2012 at 7:53 PM
kiwigirliegirl said...

Brutus has had a brain wave ;) what a good idea to get you motivated my friend :)
Im sure you will find the motivation - ill help you if want me to :)
love and hugs kiwi xxx

January 31, 2012 at 1:12 AM
painspleasure said...

Im terrible at procrastinating and sometimes i need to be motivated and then i get worked up that i shouldnt need motivation i should just do it because after all im submissive and am i not meant to be pleasing and obedient without the need of threats?

I have an awful habit of over analysing every situation and losing sight of the actual point.

Try not to beat yourself up too much (wish i could practice what i preach haha) you made an error and now you can put it right.

February 1, 2012 at 10:22 AM
Sweet girl said...

**putting it right** *grins*

February 6, 2012 at 7:46 PM

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