My submissive journey: February 2012

Pin-ups

PuSS is on sick-leave this week.

Suffering from abstinence Brutus posted one for Himself, although He found a little something missing.
So, here Sir, for You:

Do not waist
=P

I want to start with saying that i am writing this post because i reverted the two posts i wrote yesterday about equality in a D/s relationship. They were seriously misunderstood! So i'm hoping to rectify that disaster.

I didn't write anything about the difference (and lack thereof) between BDSM and DD -but i will now, just shortly. The acronym BDSM stands for Bondage, Dominance, Discipline, Submission, Sadism, Masochism (or Sadomasochism).
DD stands for Domestic Discipline.

The difference in my opinion?
The Domestic part. In a BDSM relationship it may or may not be Domestic, i e within an already existing relationship. Many start their relations based purely on D/s, many don't become a romantic couple at all (with Romance i do not mean gestures with hearts and flowers, i am referring to having a relationship as a man and woman aside from the D/s relation). Also that it often -but not always- involves more sexuality than within a DD relationship.

The common factor?
Discipline and Dominance.
In this case the relevance falls on Dominance.

The reason for calling my posts Unequal Equality, and Unequally Equal was not to try and bring balance back to the Power Exchange (PE), rather the opposite in fact! My point was just that we are equal persons in a relationship with an unequal power level between the two participants.
So whatever kind of relationship you are in it's all about the PE -which is what we all want!
Me included.
I don't want power. I don't want to be allowed to make requirements of Brutus. I don't want to steer the relationship. I want HIM to do that!
But i do think of things hypothetically. And i do think about things quite differently from most people at most times. My brain just works differently from most. I just see things differently.

I also want to explain that yesterdays posts wasn't about me and Brutus. This obviously wasn't clear since even Sir Himself thought it was. This is something i thought about before i was even fully aware that ttwd was something for me. Yes, what Sir brought up has been on my mind. Not in a challenging way though.

[OK, i admit maybe a little when during my "downward spiral" and inability to get myself to the gym. But it was simply a projection of me getting into a huff about not being able to meet requirements. It had absolutely nothing to do with Power struggle, but pure childish thinking stemming from "not feeling right".]

So, as i said, i was not in my previous posts in any way meaning that the Dom's authority should be challenged or that he wouldn't/shouldn't have no right to require something of his sub he doesn't do himself. It was about the thinking and reasoning for wanting the sub to do it, which for the sake of the argument i was assuming was with good intent and with the personal betterment of the sub in mind, and my wondering was why the Dom wouldn't desire the same benefits for himself.

I realize my wording was way off in my previous posts by using words like 'should' and 'require' and so on. I didn't mean these to come from the sub but from the Dom himself. And when i said that the sub presumably wants the same benefits for her Dom i meant just that, that she cares just as much about him to want it for him too (note the for and not from). Not that it was a requirement from her, not for her to do it and not for him to ask it.
Simply her caring for- and wanting the same for him as he does her.
(i e it had nothing to do with submission!)

I hope this made things clearer (?)

In case i wasn't any clearer, the actual question was:

Why would a Dom not desire the same benefits for himself as he does for his sub?

But i guess you could say that maybe i also wondered:

"is it OK for a sub to highlight this to her Dom?"

Amputation the only cure?

Women with a head cold

Men with a head cold

melinda with a head cold

Simply Complex

i'm

Making Progress

We all know i struggled with the gym for "a while". This resulted in, that the by the end of last year, i'd gained 5 of the 7kg i'd lost. Yeah that was one sour lemon! It took some serious hard work to lose that, and then to just gain it back so easily, well it nothing short of sucks.

It's not been long since i got my butt back in the gym but i am already seeing progression =)
Numbers are barely moving at all, but i do gain muscle very easily (and let's just say the weights are a teeny weeny bit heavier than at the beginning of last year - 20kg or so *grins*)

Anyways, i thought i'd give you guys a visual of the butt that now hits the gym!

Yeah i know, i was trying to be....i'm a bit shy OK?

But i'll be brave...

So....making progress - will you make sure i keep it up?

Yeah i fucked it up again.

Lesson learned: Don't try to blog on the bus! Way too many variables to keep track of.

The post i lost was written for Sir. It came from the heart. I'm not sure trying to reproduce it would do it justice =(

I was writing about feelings, how they come and go, ebb and flow. Right now, and recently, they are flowing. Gushing. Every time i think of Sir i get a silly grin on my face and feel warm inside. I love You.

I know You know that Sir (we speak of it often enough), but what i wanted to really say was how much more You are. Not only to me, but to others around You (but me most! *girly grin*).

You are a good man. You are caring and kind, with a good heart. You are genuine and You look after those You care about. You are sensitive even when You are tough, gentle even though you are rough.
You are inspiring and good and kind.
You do good.
You are good.
You mean the world to me. You make me whole, You give me strength.

And i want You to know

"i like You"

eehum

if you by any chance saw the quickly reverted post a while ago; just disregard it! It was another melinda-Android-fuck-up! What was posted should be in my period tracker App and my post, well my post is gone into thin air.

Sorry Sir, it was dedicated to You = (

The Calm after The Storm

Hear the Silence

Photo by Vincenzo De Palo

Just because....

Just because i'm on my period and emotional, and i miss Brutus and i'm taking out a bad day in advance, and...and... yeah well, just because.

Ogaaaobiuxgxcapyh_av9uu94lreiqg6vy6m8s5-5kkrzio_8bv3_7zrxwx2ctswptw_vc7vxwsnnmxgcm6c0o-ezb8am1t1uo-jvywzcjoylgfcqci3rnlaa4k7_large

It's a really beautiful picture tho ain't it?

I wrote a post earlier about the other blog, or Community as it is more like, of how i wanted help with getting it off the ground. Some of you came up with some really good ideas!
I made a couple polls to see if there was an interest in having a "Chat Night", a scheduled chat for a specific time so that people could gather and converse, knowing for certain others will be there and not just a resounding echo. I also made a poll asking you what time zones you are in, as to know what the best time would be for the chat. There will always be times more difficult for some than others, but i will try to vary the times a bit so that all can participate, even if not every time.So far there seems to be an interest for this -which makes me ecstatic! I hope people will fill in their time zone too so that i can arrange it the best i can.

So the chat is generating some interest, how about the Forum?

Do you find it embarrassing to start a topic? Do you not know how to? If it is the latter you can find that out in the "User's Manual" on the site =)

Please don't be shy -we're all in this together, so let's share our opinions and experiences. Learn from each other's successes, mistakes and wisdom.

There are places for just Doms and submissives respectively, and other rooms for everyone to share.

Got something to say? A question to ask?

This is the place to go!

You are welcome to come play!

*grins*

Pin-up Sexy Sunday

PuSS

Last week you voted this one to be the winner

This week i have chosen Art Frahm as Artist of the Week. I have used many of his pictures before but i have chosen pictures that i have not previously used before.

Enjoy!

The other one

I'm trying to work out how to get The Addition going. It's not working out as i had hoped =(

Although I know people go there i can't find away to get it going. I know neither Brutus or i have written much in the actual blog department, but for me that is not the main part of the site, it's more like a side note book, or something. What i really want is the Forum and the Chat, i want it to be a Community.

I'm still working on getting a better chat going, in the mean while i've added another temporary one called A different Chat. This one is better than the first one, but as i said i'm looking for a better one. I really want the forum going. I know many are on FetLife and maybe some of you on The Submissive Guide. I have an account on FL myself although it's been very long since i used it (don't ask me why). These places have very good forums, but i wanted one for all my Blogger friends here to have a place where we know eachother (that don't mean it to be exclusive to!), and maybe foremost a place where people who do ttwd but don't really see themselves as Kinksters and maybe don't feel comfortable on places like FL and the likes.

I just don't know how to make the place come alive.
I'm actually fairly satisfied with the way it's "built", of course improvements are always desired and worked towards, but i simply don't know how to make it into a place where people want to be.

So i guess you all know what question comes next;

What can i do?

What would make you want to keep coming back, to have it as a regular place to "hang out"?

How can i "put it out there" so that people knows it exists?

I've worked hard on building the site, and i'll continue to work hard on it, if only i can get some people to actually use it =(

If it was to be worth it i could even go "Pro" to get added features, but i don't want to sit pay for something that is just a black hole in the internet-sphere.

So, anyone willing to help?

Any suggestions are welcome and very much appreciated!

Smelly?

Just a cheesy post for my Sir.... sorry to disappoint you all!

Not too stinkin' cheesy was it? Or was it?

Oh well, f**k it, i mean it anyways *grins*

Sir, You are the One who holds that key.

Master,

i love You

I hate that we are so far apart, always, today even more.

Soon....

Pin-up Sexy Sunday

That was your favourite of last week, this week we hang with:

Donald Rust.

Running around the track

Needing an end

Lap 2 reached Sir. All caught up. I love You.

Who's Responsible?

I just read a really great post by aisha, it's about how you are the one responsible for your own health. Sure your Dom influences it, but you are the one responsible for it -ultimately no one else can be!

It is often a big misconception that when you give yourself over to a Dom you put everything in his hands, even your own well being. You are to do anything that he asks because he would never do anything that would harm you. This is naive thinking -which is very common in newbies, especially during the sub-frenzy period. Of course he won't do anything to willfully harm you (one would hope!) but when it comes down to it you are the only one who can judge this accurately (and even we get it wrong!). We are responsible for ourselves and our well being, both for our own sake as well as for his.

I'm gonna stop here because aisha has written it so well i'd much rather you run over to her and read it!
It is a very very good post, with a message worth remembering.

So please head on over there!

Before Wednesday comes Monday

This week my gym deadline was set for Wednesday.
I actually met it today -double the time!

So two days early and for twice as long = D

Melinda is back in business!

(No sauna though)

Everything with the flat and stuff is still a mess =( at least they are coming to inspect it on Thursday. Let's hope they agree with me -and also that i shouldn't have to pay any rent for this time -i mean i haven't been able to move in!