Wednesday, March 14, 2012
I know that question are running through some of your minds, so i thought i'd try to address it. Although i can only do so from my POV and from what i think, an actual answer can only come from Sir Himself.
I mean, i had a stinking attitude! I was unwilling and sulky. I was in a completely wrong mindset.
BUT, i didn't argue (it does happen i argue my case -but i don't argue with Him), i didn't refuse, i didn't challenge Him. I complied. Huffingly so yes, but i did comply.
And with time -and pain!- the attitude petered out, it softened, i no longer just complied, i did so with purpose and i put in the effort -there were times when i really struggled! But i hung in there. I did my best.
It took a while to get to the right place but i got there. And never once did i (openly) challenge Him on it.
I did what He asked even though i really didn't want to -because i couldn't imagine not doing so!
Had Sir punished me the instant my attitude was "a bit off" we'd never have gotten there. It would have served no real purpose but for Him to puff His chest up and make a display of His Dominance, of the power He wields. We both know He holds the power, there's no need for a show. Which is exactly why i complied -i didn't have the power not to. Because i have given that up. To Him.
He did show His Dominance, only without the show.
His Dominance showed through strongly just by Him being Him, by the fact that i wanted to comply even though i didn't want to do what He asked of me. His Dominance lie in who He is, not the threat of repercussions. Sure, everything has consequences, or cause & effect. In this case cause & effect got me in a deeply submissive state where i wanted nothing more than to be His, for Him, not for me.
A punishment at that point would have done nothing more than to aggravate the situation further, making it into a struggle -when there's nothing to struggle about. I don't want the power struggle, simply because i do not want the Power.
And we both know it i think.
Sometimes i just need time to "come around".
Sometimes patience is a true virtue....
(Luckily Sir has the patience of a Saint at times <3)