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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

So, why were you not punished?

I know that question are running through some of your minds, so i thought i'd try to address it. Although i can only do so from my POV and from what i think, an actual answer can only come from Sir Himself.

So....why weren't i punished?

I mean, i had a stinking attitude! I was unwilling and sulky. I was in a completely wrong mindset.
BUT, i didn't argue (it does happen i argue my case -but i don't argue with Him), i didn't refuse, i didn't challenge Him. I complied. Huffingly so yes, but i did comply.
And with time -and pain!- the attitude petered out, it softened, i no longer just complied, i did so with purpose and i put in the effort -there were times when i really struggled! But i hung in there. I did my best.
It took a while to get to the right place but i got there. And never once did i (openly) challenge Him on it.
I did what He asked even though i really didn't want to -because i couldn't imagine not doing so!

Had Sir punished me the instant my attitude was "a bit off" we'd never have gotten there. It would have served no real purpose but for Him to puff His chest up and make a display of His Dominance, of the power He wields. We both know He holds the power, there's no need for a show. Which is exactly why i complied -i didn't have the power not to. Because i have given that up. To Him.

He did show His Dominance, only without the show.
His Dominance showed through strongly just by Him being Him, by the fact that i wanted to comply even though i didn't want to do what He asked of me. His Dominance lie in who He is, not the threat of repercussions. Sure, everything has consequences, or cause & effect. In this case cause & effect got me in a deeply submissive state where i wanted nothing more than to be His, for Him, not for me.

A punishment at that point would have done nothing more than to aggravate the situation further, making it into a struggle -when there's nothing to struggle about. I don't want the power struggle, simply because i do not want the Power.
And we both know it i think.
Sometimes i  just need time to "come around".

Sometimes patience is a true virtue....

(Luckily Sir has the patience of a Saint at times <3)

With love,


dancingbarez said...

It always surprises how much they truly sense what we need.

March 14, 2012 at 8:49 PM
melinda Sweetgirl said...

yes indeed. And my need was to find my submission, not have it dragged out of me. In the end we both delivered :)

March 14, 2012 at 10:48 PM
kiwigirliegirl said...

I still think it comes down to have a Dom that cares. He cared about you being submissive to him complying with his request of what he wanted from you.
The incident we were talking about earlier didnt have that caring element. So at the risk of repeating myself, how can a sub submit if the Dom doesnt care about it? To me, she can't. I cant submit to someone who doesnt care about it, or care about the subject im submitting to (if that makes sense).
For example, tonight is exercise night. He cares about that, I dont want to do it at all, but I will. He will push and encourage me. I will do it because I know it will please him and I love the Goodgirl effect when its done.
Last night it was like he really didnt give a shit about how much money i had spent, and said so with words to that effect. So how can i submit to that?
Love kiwi xxxx

March 15, 2012 at 2:00 AM
Elder said...

The reason I did nit punish you melinda is that there is no reason for it. There are certain things that can never be taken for granted and those are the privileges you gave me to do certain things with you. If I want them I can peruse them, but I can not be complacent about it. I do see your objections as true feelings that needed to be overcome, rather then brattiness as you describe it. The strategy I followed is on my own post of yesterday.

@ Kiwi He does care about the money, but is at his wits end due to the ever returning violations of this rule.

March 15, 2012 at 8:11 AM
kiwigirliegirl said...

Elder....thank you for your thoughts. Just to clarify though, i dont continually violate this rule....for weeks now i have stuck to the budget :) going only slightly over by a few dollars here or there. He doesnt ask anymore but I just tell him and leave it up to him how he responds. So far so good. Perhaps he just wasnt in Dom mode....which kinda confuses me, you are either a dom or not....he gave me permission to buy some special foods from WW and so when i told him I had gone over slightly he said he expected it. BUT he didnt have to say he doesnt care, spend what i want did he? He could have just said something along the lines of thats ok I was expecting it as i said you could buy ww meals and they are expensive.

March 15, 2012 at 9:01 PM
Elder said...

This is not a budgetary problem but comes back to the whole WW story. You have kind of over ruled him there by going to WW whilst he was against it. I guess this is the way he is paying you back for it. (Not ideal, but it is one of the many human reactions possible). But I can not second guess more then that, other than that it is probably far more complicated then meets the eye.

March 16, 2012 at 7:35 AM

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