Wednesday, March 14, 2012
From sulking brat to humble submissive
Sir and i had a very good night last nite. But it didn't start so well. I was feeling unwell again, and quite frankly feeling a bit sorry for myself, so when Sir told me to get the crocks out i got into a bit of an huff. That's a lie -i huffed pretty damned hard! Let's say that the "Yes Sir" response did not come with a smile on the lips. It was more of a
!!! -kind of attitude.
Yes i might as well have stomped my feet, stuck my tongue out, crossed my arms and dug my heels in the floor.
To say my attitude stank is an understatement indeed.
I did as i was told but it was done with short and concise "Yes Sir"... "Yes Sir"...."OK Sir" (more meaning "Fine!").
But the crocks came out, they were applied and i said with gritted teeth that they were on but i didn't know how long i'd be able to keep it on, i was struggling.
*LOL* turnd out to be ...hmmm what could it be Sir? Hour and a half? But dang it was not fun after removing them it was a definite Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck for a good 10mins afterwards. But i felt much better. I felt happier, lighter, and much more humble, so..... so His.
Sometimes it's the struggling that makes it better. Struggling, pushing through and coming out on the other side again.
More humble. Lighter. Happier. Owned. His. Completely.
6 comments:
That is how it went melinda :-)
March 14, 2012 at 8:10 AMGood Morning
March 14, 2012 at 12:04 PMMelinda, what is a crock and what is it used for? just curious ;p
and I have to agree, the struggling does make it better, I just found that out myself.
Have and awesome day!
Hugs
Aluv
Heh....
March 14, 2012 at 4:49 PMFunny how it works?
Hugs,
mouse
ALuv: you know those little hairclips with teeth? You can find a picture here
March 14, 2012 at 7:28 PMmouse: yes peculiar indeed... but good! =)
We actually call them like that. It is our nick name referring to crocodile teeth. I suppose clips is more correct. I am not even sure why they are made for in the vanilla world. How ever they are very useful on breast and vulvas. At least that is what I have been told ^^
March 14, 2012 at 8:11 PMOK my friend, from reading this I can now see the point you were making, that submission comes from within your own heart not from a Dom bossing beating and bullying...I can see that. BUT for a sub to be submissive from the heart she needs a CARING DOM. The sheer fact that he cares is enough (for me) to submit to him, even if I really dont want to do something.
March 15, 2012 at 1:53 AMWhat I think you missed was when my Sir said HE DIDNT CARE, I COUDL DO WHAT I WANTED. ITS MY MONEY AND I CAN SPEND IT HOW I LIKE
He said he didnt care. That is what got to me. If he doesnt care about it then why is a rule for me. Why do i not have access to the money as much as i want - IF HE DOESNT CARE.
And if he does care, why say something like that in the way he said it in the first place?
I do understand what you were saying earlier on tonight chick I really do. I can understand your frustration with me when it comes to me complaining about a punishment and how its not conducted in what I think is the right way. That i can understand your pov on. And I am taking your advice on it.
But this "not caring" about something....how can i submit to something he doesnt care about? It's impossible. I am not stupid I wont go spending willy nilly just for the sake of it or blowing a whole weeks wage on shit stuff....
the only thing i can say is that when he said he didnt care and to spend my money on what i want, instead of replying to him "that how it is is it?" - a challenge as you said - i should have could have said "yes sir".
But what he said hurt and confused me. It panicked me. I like him having the control and i panicked that maybe he was giving it back to me when I dont want it back.
:) xxx
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