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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Brattiness


 Yes this post was inspired by my blogging friend that keeps finding herself in a bit of a twist (you know who you are ; ) ).

Now, she's not being bratty on purpose, I know that. But there are those out there that call themselves brats and are proud of it. And they say that their Master's like it. Then is it really bratty?
In my book being bratty is about manipulation. Acting a certain way to get your own will even though it is not served to you, often without the other person realizing they are being played. No Master wants to be played. Master's do the playing -that's just how it is and it's the aim of the game right?

I'm cheeky, I can even be very cheeky. I am teasing and light-hearted in my manner of conversation. Some may even say taunting. It's all fun and games. I'm playful. Brutus likes that. He knows I'm not being disrespectful or taking liberties. He knows I wouldn't manipulate Him. Maybe do a little weedling-out of things, maybe distract a bit, but never manipulate. Never push His limits like a bratty little child (I have one of my own, I know how terrible it is!), not piss Him off on purpose in order to get what I want. In fact if I did and I was caught out I know I'd be having a lot of booooring political blogs and global warming conspiracy theories to read up on!! Exactly -NO spanking! Because that's what I was vying for wasn't it? And brattiness isn't rewarded, it's punished. And trust me I'd even take a mega harsh punishment spanking over that bloody research any day of the week!   -And He knows it.
(**Yes, Sir that was probably the meanest punishment You've thought out yet -I'm glad I managed to evade it!**)  So this time there was no physical punishment, it was a mental exercise of anguish, or would've been had i not been a last-second Good girl  *grins*

In my eyes it's always better to ask for what you want. Yes, you may be denied it, but you have not done anything wrong in asking -in fact I think most Doms would be happy for you to do that! Of course there are very strict ones out there -if your's is one of them then I think bratting is an even worse idea! It could cost you dearly when you are found out! And yes I say when and not if, cause unless you have a particularly dense Sir, you will be found out sooner or later! I would not like to be the owner of that bum -and I'm a painslut!

I don't see an issue in asking to be spanked. As long as you ask respectfully! And with hope of getting it, not expectation.
Make it into a nice offering to Him. Maybe kneel in front of Him, with your favourite toy/implement. Ask courteously. Again, make it into something that He would like to give -something He would like to take.

Of course this isn't as easy if you're in a non-S/m relationship where you don't play. If you only use spankings for punishment, well then it's probably nothing you even want to ask for in the first place. Unless you're a spanko and your hubby is not. Then you can still try, worst thing that can happen is that you'll be denied (and then you're not really any worse off than you were before you asked are you?)

TTWD is about give and take, about meeting each other's needs and lusts, about compromising. TTWD is not static. It changes as we change. It's about push and pull. They push, we pull. Both parties are part of the evolution of the relationship. Both parties can help shape the direction they're heading in.

Just remember a few things;

  • Even if you are pulling remember you are NOT the one in charge! You can ask. You can come with suggestions. You can present. But ultimately the choice is theirs whether it will happen or not, and when & how.
  • Being bratty isn't just disrespectful to them as the leader, but also to them as a person. Manipulation is NEVER OK.
  • Don't go behind their back; transparency is what keeps this type of relation stronger than Vanilla ones.
  • Trust them! Even when it's not quite the way you wish it would be, even when it feels like they falter.
  • Ask, but don't make demands (that is sure to backfire on you!)
  • Lastly; the usual -talk talk talk! Don't be afraid to speak your mind -they can't possibly know how to satisfy your needs and wants if they don't know what they are!

      

Good luck in getting what you want -without being bratty!

With love,

6 comments:

Sweet girl said...

Elder posted a comment earlier, it was supposed to be amended but I managed to delete it instead.

Here is what He said:

You are right melinda, bratty is just plain annoying, and being cheeky is fun. I can also add to this that what a Dom wants is respect. I think, at least in my case getting respect is even more important than getting my way. So having to enforce your decisions and facing stand offs for no apparent reason is not a good situation for a Dom. It also undermines their confidence, after all if your judgement is just openly mocked with you are not much of a Dom!!
I know I don't have these issues with melinda. So if there is something, I take note and make an effort to try to find out what is the matter. Perhaps the root cause is outside the issue and she is in need. Don't expect this if you are bratty on a regular basis.

As for your punishment you managed to avoid melinda, I know it was not brattiness. But perhaps more of a mental block. The punishment was therefore designed to make it clear that following trough on your promise was a better alternative then allowing the mental block to prevent you taking action. Fortunately you did so even before knowing what the penalty for not doing so would have been.

As for your bratty friend, I read her blog entry, and I was about to comment. But I did not so because I have not been often enough on her blog to form an idea about it. Even in that 1 entry there are more sides to the story.

But I would like to endorse melinda's recommendation not to solve your issues by being bratty. Very damaging for your relation. You seem an intelligent and articulate woman, so I am sure you will find a way. You may even have to manage your Dom for a while. (My God what an Oxymoron, and that coming from a Dom, but I hope you understand what I mean). This is something else than being bratty or manipulative. I read maintenance spanking. Go to your Dom and say you have realized you need that. It will leave him with his dignity, and allow you to work out how to find your way. Good luck.

September 7, 2011 at 8:17 AM
Vulnerable (klaudia) said...

thank you for interesting post! I guess how we come with approach to the word "brat". I am called by my Master "brat" very often, but it's just as you say - it's propably more about being teasing, playful and maybe cheeky. But it all depends how we take this word:)

i am never disrespectful nor offensive, I do it all only knowing how much He enjoys my teasing. And I am aware of Him being always in charge and if situation requires seriousness - then I immediatelly leave my "bratty" mode and focus on what is important.

All the best for you and your Master!

September 7, 2011 at 10:10 AM
Sky said...

I liked your post. I will playfully tease my Master, but I am not (I hope anyway!) a "brat."

I have written two letters to my Master asking to be spanked. We are in a LDR, and I have emailed the letters to him, but will give HIM the handwritten ones when he returns. I don't think asking for a spanking is a bad thing :)

Your post really made me think. Thank you!

Take care, Sky

September 7, 2011 at 4:35 PM
Kitty said...

I'm afraid sometimes my emotions get out of control and I DO act like a brat and sometimes I'm aware of it but it seems like I'm powerless to stop.

If Daddy is around, though, he can get me to stop. All he has to do is look at me with this certain look and sometimes he'll just tell me, right in front of the kids, to be quiet.

It makes me instantly start to feel submissive when he uses that tone of voice with me because I know he means business and I don't even want to find out what he'd do if I didn't obey him, lol!

Kitty

September 8, 2011 at 12:18 AM
Sweet girl said...

First of all, thank You Sir for giving your perspective, it's always good to hear from the Dom side (and for this girl extra good to get a glimpse into her Dom's side *grins*
And yes, isn't the keyword always respect? In all things.

And girls don't we always seem to end back at these "maintenance/reaffirming/reminder spankings"?? *LOL*

Klaudia: yes, i guess in the end it's a lot about semantics, but even then if you look up the word it never has a positive connotation to it. Of course don't mean you can't use it as such, but it is not the actual meaning of the word. As I wrote, if he enjoys it it is not bratty -but again, that is just my opinion! (My kid is bratty just now -trust me I am not enjoying it! However I find it fun when she's being a cheeky monkey). Again, semantics. Or at least differing perceptions.

September 11, 2011 at 2:14 AM
Sweet girl said...

Sky: Sky: A fellow LDR-girl :D
I am glad you enjoyed my post and to have made you think : ) I hope you get to see your Sir soon : )

Kitty: Hmm yeah loss of control and being bratty.... YES it happens! Just never with Sir **grins**

September 11, 2011 at 2:45 AM

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