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Saturday, September 24, 2011

Comments too long to post

This was a comment I was writing on Master's latest post on after care. As you can see it got rather long -which is very unusual for me! *irony*

OK, here it is.

I don't think after care is all about comforting per say. After a high there comes a low (always and in all things) and this low needs to come slowly, progressively so as not to shock the system. That can lead to a later sub-drop.
So with that in mind the same should apply to a Dom, for he too gets an acceleration of endorphins and adrenaline during a scene, especially a "heavy" one. Therefore he too should need a... let's call it a winding down period. Maybe jumping this part in the process isn't as detrimental for a Dom as for a sub, I dunno, although there is such a thing as Dom-drop too. I think the more intense the scene has been the more important the after becomes. And just like Sir says, apart from the physical (and physiological) recovery it is also important for the re-connection of the people involved. Just like you don't tend to have intense sex with someone and then jump out of bed and leave (not even with a one night stand, and trust me I've had plenty of those), you lay for a bit and catch your breath at the very least.

After a session you bask in the afterglow of all the feelings and sensations the activity has brought forward, you re-affirm the caring of the relationship, that you both value what you have just done and each other. Doms tend to say that they do it to show their appreciation of the gift just given to them, I for one is just as grateful for the gift that has been given to me in return during the session. Because it gives me something too! So for me it's just as much about me showing Sir the same as He's telling me with His after care, namely satisfaction and gratitude, and love. So even if He don't realize it, He gives me as much as I give Him, and after I give Him as much as He does me.

We play together, we recover together.

(I know there are people who prefer to be alone afterwards, that that is their way of winding down. I have no experience in that so therefore I cannot comment on it, but I would imagine the process is the same, just a different method of achieving it.)With love,


Elder said...

So OK lets just be honest about it, after care is not something you do for your sub, because you are OOOOh SOOOOh clever to understand her needs. It is something you do together, hopefully.....
PS By the way Dom drop?? Oh nooooo, not an other bursted bubble....

September 24, 2011 at 7:52 PM
Sweet girl said...

Yes Sir, like I said, together ;)
Although people that don't snuggle can have after care too, which is literally after care and not so much about sharing the aftermath so to speak.

Oh I'm sorry Sir, I keep doing that don't I? Bursting Your bubbles? Luckily I'll come and fill that space for You soon ;)

September 24, 2011 at 9:12 PM
Elder said...

They are no sacred bubbles melinda... But I am looking forward for you to come over. I will do the filling though, of empty spaces.

September 25, 2011 at 10:18 AM
kiwigirliegirl said...

I agree with you SG - how can you do something so intermate so intense so trusting and soul bearing and not have the after care afterward. I know what it does for me, i know what it does for my HOH - i really dont think i could stand to be alone afterward - even with the most severe punishment - it would be torture. For me it doesnt have to be a long drawn out thing, but it needs to be something :)

September 26, 2011 at 4:57 AM
kiwigirliegirl said...

oh my spelling is terrible this afternoon...sorry about that.

September 26, 2011 at 4:58 AM

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