Take II

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Take II

I want to start with saying that i am writing this post because i reverted the two posts i wrote yesterday about equality in a D/s relationship. They were seriously misunderstood! So i'm hoping to rectify that disaster.


I didn't write anything about the difference (and lack thereof) between BDSM and DD -but i will now, just shortly. The acronym BDSM stands for Bondage, Dominance, Discipline, Submission, Sadism, Masochism (or Sadomasochism).
DD stands for Domestic Discipline.





The difference in my opinion?
The Domestic part. In a BDSM relationship it may or may not be Domestic, i e within an already existing relationship. Many start their relations based purely on D/s, many don't become a romantic couple at all (with Romance i do not mean gestures with hearts and flowers, i am referring to having a relationship as a man and woman aside from the D/s relation). Also that it often -but not always- involves more sexuality than within a DD relationship.


The common factor?
Discipline and Dominance.
In this case the relevance falls on Dominance.

The reason for calling my posts Unequal Equality, and Unequally Equal was not to try and bring balance back to the Power Exchange (PE), rather the opposite in fact! My point was just that we are equal persons in a relationship with an unequal power level between the two participants.
So whatever kind of relationship you are in it's all about the PE -which is what we all want!
Me included.
I don't want power. I don't want to be allowed to make requirements of Brutus. I don't want to steer the relationship. I want HIM to do that!
But i do think of things hypothetically. And i do think about things quite differently from most people at most times. My brain just works differently from most. I just see things differently.

I also want to explain that yesterdays posts wasn't about me and Brutus. This obviously wasn't clear since even Sir Himself thought it was. This is something i thought about before i was even fully aware that ttwd was something for me. Yes, what Sir brought up has been on my mind. Not in a challenging way though.

[OK, i admit maybe a little when during my "downward spiral" and inability to get myself to the gym. But it was simply a projection of me getting into a huff about not being able to meet requirements. It had absolutely nothing to do with Power struggle, but pure childish thinking stemming from "not feeling right".]

So, as i said, i was not in my previous posts in any way meaning that the Dom's authority should be challenged or that he wouldn't/shouldn't have no right to require something of his sub he doesn't do himself. It was about the thinking and reasoning for wanting the sub to do it, which for the sake of the argument i was assuming was with good intent and with the personal betterment of the sub in mind, and my wondering was why the Dom wouldn't desire the same benefits for himself.

I realize my wording was way off in my previous posts by using words like 'should' and 'require' and so on. I didn't mean these to come from the sub but from the Dom himself. And when i said that the sub presumably wants the same benefits for her Dom i meant just that, that she cares just as much about him to want it for him too (note the for and not from). Not that it was a requirement from her, not for her to do it and not for him to ask it.
Simply her caring for- and wanting the same for him as he does her.
(i e it had nothing to do with submission!)



I hope this made things clearer (?)

 

In case i wasn't any clearer, the actual question was: 

Why would a Dom not desire the same benefits for himself as he does for his sub? 

But i guess you could say that maybe i also wondered:

"is it OK for a sub to highlight this to her Dom?"

With love,