-1 (+7) -9 (+9) = 7

Tomorrow Sir will be here!! For the first time ever Sir will come to visit me. He'll stay for a week. Then we've had some luck come our way and we've managed to book an unplanned visit for me again!
Last time it was 4 months between our meetings, now we'll see each other 3 times in just 1½!
Yay and woohooo!

In just over 12 hrs time Sir will step off the airport shuttle and arrive at Stockholm Centralstation where i will be waiting for Him.

i hope the flat will be....decent, by then.
*She says sitting on her fat arse thinking just how much she has to do*

Oh if you wonder about the title it's:

-Time until Sir will be here ( + time Sir will be with me) - time till i'll go see Sir ( + time i will be with Sir) = 7 (well when you add and subract them like that it does =P)

Have i mentioned 7 is my lucky number?
My birthday's on the 7th.
(Not this 7th though)

Sir wrote a post this morning, about part of my stay with Him.
I never ever ever thought i'd be compared to a stepford wife ever! At least not as anything but the opposition, but hey life throws curve balls at you *lol*.
But i think Sir is right, in many respects we do go very DD when i am there. I like doing things for Sir, so that when He comes home He can sit down and just let go of the day past, slowly letting it fall off His shoulders, if only for a little while.
Coming home from work should be a highlight, something to look forward to not another necessity or something that you want to put off.
No, i want coming home to be pleasant, positive. Something to look forward to. And it's usually the little things that makes the difference.
I'm just speculating here.
But take Friday for instance. I had some stuff to do that i had been putting off for most of the week and this being my last day i really had to get them done, so in the morning after having waved Sir off to work (after getting up way too late to make Him a breakfast before He left : | ), had some coffee and a light breakfast (oh and some blogging) i went off to town. First item on the agenda was a task from Sir; go to the train station to cash in a credit receipt. Check!
Then some shopping. Just minor. I had yet to buy something for my dear friend Terror's birthday (which i missed while i was away =( ), and also i remembered i'd promised The Brat a summer dress.
Check! Check!
It was getting close to lunch time now and i better hurry home before i'd be late for lunch with Sir.

To my surprise i could see Sir standing on the balcony looking for me as i approached the house. I could see His phone in His hand so i whistled to let Him know i was almost there, although He didn't seem to hear it. Or register it -i can whistle LOUDLY (although i didn't really dare to now, so it was just...moderately low *lol*)!
But i digress.
My point being that things weren't as they usually are when Sir comes home for lunch.
I wasn't there to start with.
I think that kind of threw Sir off a bit.
Now had this been after work and not just for lunch it might have made an even bigger difference.
Like i said, i like to welcome Sir home, and it's the little things that count, so when possible (i e when i manage to catch a glimpse of Him before He drives down the garage) i pour Him a beer in His favourite glass (that just so happens to be one that i bought for Him *grins*) and have it standing on the kitchen table for Him to see as He enters the front door.
I have had other things on display before as well *lol*, not so much this time though i'm afraid. Next time ;)

I think the major difference that is developing is not the lessening of D/s in our relationship, but the lessening in the display of it. Which is also what i think is the major difference between BDSM D/s and DD D/s (to try to make a rather simple distinction).
This time there was not really any kneeling, no sitting by His feet, no such things. Things i love btw, but also things that should "just be", unless it's in a set scene of course.
I've come to realize that we don't really do set scenes, we just do what we feel like it, when we feel like it (sounded really democratic didn't it? *lol* To some extent it is -but that's not so difficult with a slut that says Yes! to 99% =P)
Sir is right though, the play has become less, both in LDR and RT, which might sound like it's a bad thing, but i'm not sure it's good nor bad.
We're evolving and changing constantly, and with there being so many other changes around us to, well it's not always easy to know where to stand. So we tend to "just be".
We're very physical, "touchy feely" people, so no matter how much or little else there is we always touch. Always, like constantly. Which is quite funny considering i have real issues with physical touch and having my personal space "invaded" (only Sir don't invade it, He own it, maybe that makes all the difference?), and to be quite honest, i don't think i'm the only one with intimacy issues in our relationship (*looks carefully out from behind the sofa*), but for some reason when we're together we don't seem to be able to be anything but intimate. And i'm not just referring to sexual activities, though they are very prominent *lol*.

Yesterday evening when i was speaking with Sir online as we usually do He said "it almost felt like we permanent live together", and He's right, it does feel like that. He's also right in that it's "a double edged sword becasue then when the time comes for you to return it is a rude awakening". And rude it is.
But as i said in my post last night (early this morning); the fact that it is not easy is in itself a good sign of the strength of our relationship.
Sure, one might get "more used to" parting from one another, but the day it becomes easy is the day to start back pedaling i think.
When "see you in a few months =(" becomes "OK see you later then" ...then you missed the back pedaling spot.
We're still pedaling very much forward =) (and sideways too! *lol*)
Last night Sir also say that i make Him vanilla *LOL* -i suppose we do do that to each other. Strange huh? A Dom and a sub comes together and things become vanilla? haha. Guess it depends on how and where from one looks at it, i suppose.

Anyway, now i'm rambling, i can't even really remember what it was i started to write about, and i don't have time to check either -reality calls, it's time to pick up The Brat.

See Ya's later!

This is what my mind and body is asking me tonight.

We miss Sir.

(no, i'm not crazy! i don't have multiple personalities, just multiple parts of my personality =P)

We miss Him a lot.

But i realized something tonight whilst speaking with Sir online.

I was saying that we should be getting used to the parting by now.

"why does it feel like it becomes more and more difficult rather than something well practiced?"

i asked Him.

"it may become easier though melinda", He replied

and it hit me:

-maybe it shouldn't?

Suddenly i could see an upside to the hardship:

in the difficulty to part lay the strength to stay together.

If the parting was easy then it wouldn't be much pulling one back would it?

And this time we are only parted for a week! *grins*

For on Saturday Sir comes here! (God i hope everything is ready by then!)

So, we have another countdown already! And it says

then seven together.

Harrumph!

Bad mood.

Annoyed.

Tired.

Back home again. Flight was good, even landed ½ hour early. Airport shuttle not as good -same horrid, obnoxious woman and child on it as last time i flew from Sir! How is that even possible? *lol*

Bags were heavy, was a nuisance to get home.
But it was gonna be nice coming home to my newly renovated flat. Or so i thought!
Bathroom is done.
What was supposed to be done in the kitchen is done.

The living room was supposed to be painted and wall papers put up this week past so that it was to be finished by yesterday. And what do i come home to?
A uncompleted room with buckets of plaster and shit standing around -yes, that's all that's been done to it so far -the plastering!
Grrrrrrr......

And to top it all off i'm out of coffee.
So now i sit in my daughter's bed (from which i had to remove everything we own that had to be removed from the other rooms!) having just eaten some risotto and having a glass of red.
Thinking of napping for a bit. I'm tired.

I'll probably be back a bit later, hopefully in a better mood and with something worth writing about.

I know it's normally Monday Blues and Fantastic Friday, but not here, not this Friday.

Friday today means Saturday tomorrow, and that means going back home. Not Home, but home.

I know it will only be a week then He'll be coming to see me (for the first time!), but it still makes me sad to go.

I love being with Sir. It feels so right. So natural. So....right.

But life is like life is -reality always comes crashing down at some point.

Tonight we have been invited back over to Sir's colleague again though, for a BBQ. That will be nice i think (i just hope there won't be too many other people). I need to try to crawl out of my shell a bit though, and who better to do that with than Sir?

The Vanilla Week Sprinkles

So the first week was very Vanilla -in fact most of my stay has been! As usual not what we'd planned for, but how it turns out. This time even less kink than normal i'd say.
We did have one pain session in the first week though. Sir brought out His newly acquired clamps -binder clamps i think they're called.

They look like this:

They were surprisingly vicious!

On they were like most clamps -painful! *lol* But a good kind of painful.

I figured they'd be "kinder" than the paper clamps since these ones have rounded rather than sharp edges -but surprise surprise! i think they might actually be worse!

It took a lot of effort to manage the pain of getting them off -as well as some fist biting and "silent screaming". Dang it was harsh!

But once finished it was good. Didn't reach subspace but i got in that relaxed state, not groggy relaxed, more refreshed relaxed -a bit like after a gym session!

(Oh speaking of gym, not much exercise has been done here -not the conventional type anyways =P)

The session ended with some good sex (surprise again! *lol*).

There's been a couple spanking sessions as well.

On one occasion a shoe horn (that i foolishly bought for Him!) and Sir's belt were used.

20 lashes with the belt and i had to ask for pause -damn that hurt! I don't even know why i counted, maybe to find out what i could take, i dunno.

After a brief pause to catch my breath i got another 6.

The shoe horn i got for Sir is particularly vicious -there's two sides you can use! The actual shoe horn (of course) and then at the other end it has a rubber loop. I guess it's to hang it up on. OR you can use it to make your subbie scream FUUUUUUUCK! into a pillow! *lol*

Hey i bought it.... (how stupid can a subbie get? after 1½yrs i still haven't learned not to buy items that can be wielded as pain "weapons" *shakes head*)

The rubber loop isn't thin and meek either -it's robust stuff!

It looks like this, only it's red:

And guess what? He managed to break it on my arse!

It didn't like break in half or so but the loop part can now be removed from the horn ( aha!

*big mischievous grin spreads over subbies face* think if it just happened to fall off somewhere? Somewhere we-don't-know-where? ^^ )

Oh, you know how i said that i never learn to not see stuff that can inflict pain? When looking for pix for the shoe horn i found this:

i kinda like it =P Calf skin must be so much nicer than plastic right? =P

Anyways, back to my shoehorn. And oh yeah speaking of calves -that loopy thing on your calves hurt like FCUK!

Kiwi my friend, remember how i pepped you to exercise by saying that muscle hurts more than fat? Wow did i get reminded of that!! My calves aren't big, but what is there is pure muscle -33cm of muscle! And holymotherofgod did i scream into that pillow! I think i actually swore that i'll stop going to the gym *lol* "No more treadmill for melinda" *LOL*

So those of you who are wishing for a Loopy Johnny -think twice! And trice, and then again, and again, and again! *lol*

They're MEAN!

Yesterday i found the brushes that Sir use for paddles (hidden in plain sight Sir *lol* =P).

I don't know if you remember them from before, but one is like this one

only with metal "spikes" -with no plastic bubbles on them!

The other one is of this type

Someone said they used the paddle because it was one of the silent implements -mine is no silent!! It has a loud and resounding SMACK! sound for sure!

(I wonder what the neighbours think we're doing? Beating carpets in the middle of the night? *lol*)

Sir also likes His crop -again no standard items for Sir, Sir goes all out!

It's not a nice little crop like this

Nope it's The Meanie! I think i've showed it before, but here it is again:

(this time picture is from a retail website)

65cm blue riding crop

Designed for REINFORCING the action of the RIDER’s legs. Multi-purpose, suitable for all disciplines.

Why to choose this product : 65cm in length, so ideal for adults. Very solid.

Yeah no shit it's "very solid"!

MORE INFOS

Composition
Elastomer handle and popper, polycarbonate shaft.

Warranty

TECHNICAL DETAILS

Ergonomic design
Handle is suitable for both young people and adults.

Comfort
Centre of gravity is close to the hand to prevent wrist fatigue.

Performance
Popper will make a noise with only a slight flick of the wrist.

BENEFIT

Durability
Polycarbonate shaft: excellent resistance to bending and crushing.

Anatomic design
Ergonomically-designed handle with non-slip handgrip.

Versatility
Length 65cm: multi-use, for all disciplines..

More Sharing Services

Hmm yeah, i had brought a new thing this time around as well (*shakes head at herself*), a thin studded woman's belt.

That was used too.

And the "cane", which is really a carbon fiber arrow.

Oh, and Sir's own hands too of course!

So although the sessions may not have been many, writing about them i realize we have done quite a bit anyways.

Hopefully even more when Sir comes to see me! Different toys (although i do have a Meany as well *gulp* Yes, the first one He bought He sent home with me). There will be quite a bit Vanilla too, since The Brat is gonna be at home at least part of His stay with me. But yeah, different toys, different turf. Maybe different....rules. Stuff. Whatever.

OK, sorry for the many pictures! I was considering to put in some pictures of the "damage" done -but there are quite enough pictures now i think!

(how convenient =P)

And also it's almost half past 11 and i haven't lifted a finger here yet! And Sir will be home for lunch in about an hour -so i think it best to dash!

For now -Ciao and Adios!

Unsettling embraces

The other night i wrote a post i ended with saying that i was gonna try to sleep beside a very restless Sir. And restless He was. Although tossing and turning He had not once removed His hand from me. At first i didn't think anything of it -we like to be close. Over the course of time i noted it more and more, and after having finished the post i turned over to lie in Sir's embrace, and embrace me He did -in fact, He didn't let go for several hours. All night He held on to me like there was no tomorrow, as if i was about to slip through His fingers were He to let go for even a second. If i moved He moved and His embrace grew stronger, holding on even tighter. There was a feeling of desperation over it, which was unsettling. That feeling lingers on.

It was hours before He woke and when i asked Him about it He didn't know what i was speaking of. He seemed genuinely confused over my repetitive questioning if He was alright and asking what's up. I don't think Sir is hiding anything from me, but something is clearly bothering Him, whether He knows it or not.

I am not a worrier. In fact i'm quite the opposite -i tend to ignore and close things out. But for Master i always worry. No, that sounds wrong. I always hold concern for Him. And this, this has me concerned. I think mostly because i don't understand it. Also, Sir himself seems oblivious to it.

I know i needn't worry for Him really, Sir is a strong and capable man - but if i, His subbie, don't worry for Him, then who will? I think it kinda comes with the job description. And it's just how i'm made, i take care of people. For Sir even more so.

Because i love Him. Deeply. And i want nothing but good for Him.

Sir, You hear that?

Nothing but good. Just like You deserve.

I am here, always.

Yours always.

And i love You always.

Know that, and remember it too.

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Last night, in the middle of the night, while Sir was sleeping, i wrote a post. It's something that's on my mind, but i don't know if i should post it or not. i'm worried it could be seen as too personal, by Sir i mean.

I know what you're going to say. You're going to say that i could show Him the post first and ask for His opinion/permission. That would kind of defeat the purpose of the post in my eyes. So i'm not gonna do that. I just have to try to come to a decision whether to post it or not as it is.

I know He wouldn't get mad at me if i did decide to post it, but it's a matter of me deciding if i think it's OK to do so.

Once posted it might not seem like there was anything to consider, but right now i'm of two minds.

We'll see....

You will get the gossip too soon!

As of today Sir is back to work so i'll have time in the days to write.

See you soon!

A week with my love

Yes, a week's gone past. Sir remarked on it's rapid onset only this evening. For once i don't think it's sped past. It's been a good week. It's been very vanilla. We have a habit of making it so, no matter what intentions we have prior to my arrival. We spend so much time missing each other that when we finally meet we can do nothing but cling onto each other. Embracing each other. Snuggling. With huggles and through sex. Feel each other. Hold one another.
To be honest i've lost count of the amount of times we've had sex (and the amount of bj's given -we all know how fond of them i am *blushes*). Someone asked in their blog (FD maybe?) how many were having sex at least once a day. When i'm here once a day is a low. Guess there's a lot of once a day's to catch up on *lol*.

We've done a fair bit of things so far though -apart from the sex ;-)

We've been into the very same city we visited the first time i was here, although I'll leave that story to Sir, because to be honest i have no idea how to tell it without disclosing our location. I can tell you we had a really nice time though. The weather was nice, the view spectacular and of course the company lovely.

Other than that the weather has been pretty shite to be honest, rain pissing down several days. The nicest day was one of the days i were unwell so unfortunately we didn't go out at all that day. That was kind of a bummer.

Oh the other day we actually went to dinner at one of Sir's colleagues' house. That was kind of significant -it's the first time we've made a public appearance so to speak. I was really nervous about it, although i succeeded very well with pushing those feelings away. I was worried i'd embarrass myself -well us- with having a panic attack. I didn't. In fact it went really well. They were very nice people and i instantly felt welcome and safe. Not a common occurrence for me i can tell you. Even when Brutus left with the man of the house to get dinner and i was left with one person not speaking English at all, and her daughter trying to translate, even then i was ok, no i was fine , good even.

In two week's time the next "test" will come when Sir will come to me. Where He will meet my daughter and Terror, my best friend. Maybe even my mum.

I'm not sure I'll handle that as well. But who knows, maybe I'll surprise myself again.

But i digress.

The time here has been very good. The little S/m we've done i will write about in a separate post. Now i will attempt to sleep with a very restless and snoring Master. Let's hope i can make Him more comfortable (no not like that! That i've already done :-P).

Nite nite.

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So i'm afraid your update with gossip will have to wait for a while till i feel more inspired to write.

Apart from feeling a bit unwell i'm having a great time though!

Of course, being with Brutus is all that matters not what we do

-although we do have plans!

Let's hope i feel good enough soon so we can fit it all in before Sir has to go back to work again.

So don't despair, the gossip is coming your way ;)

A quickie

No we didn't have a quickie!

We had lots of them! Well, all weren't so quick =P
You're not getting more gossip than that just now, i'll leave it to Sir to decide on the level of details to be shared. But as you can guess, once we got in the door yesterday, we did not leave the house, not until midday today. *grins*

There's been lots of sex, snuggles, cuddles and some food and sleep too. Oh and a pain session initiated by a silly comment coming from a silly sub -or should i say crazy sub?!? Well, Sir thinks so. But that's another story *grins wide*

For now you know i landed safely, i'm alive and i'm where i belong; with my Master.

It's good to be back Home again.

Inspection

*LOL*

S'one way to put it *grins wide*

Ya'know what i mean ;)

See ya tomorrow!

i may even have some gossip for you ;)

Yaaaaaaaaaay!

I'm Home!

*deep happy sigh*

P.S. Funny fact: Not only does the watch look very similar to mine -even the arm does! even down to the freckle. Huh, funny that.

Tick tock tick tock

Hihi loved this one!

If all is going according to plan, i e the flight is on time there is now only 1 hour till i land!

Sir, ...... subbie is on her way Home.

:-*

Half a day for two ½ to become a whole *grins*

Headless Chickens

Sir wrote a post today about His....ehum not being so convinced by my "i can't confirm anything, but it'll be fine Sir!" comments to Him asking me to confirm everything is done and prepared for the trip.

He posted a picture of a hen on it saying He was having images of headless chickens running around.
I understand Him -He knows me! ;)

So, yeah this is me:

I am ALL THREE of them! *lol*

But that's just how i work.

Nothing to worry about. Everything under control. Theoretically at least =P
I've managed before, i'll manage again.

Puss Sir -and hey You! You remember to go to the right airport ;)

One Day!!

2 days before the 2 of us are 2gether again

Yup. Not long now =D

(those balls gives me a slight shiver actually! No, not the good kind...)

Soon i'll be Home too!

Then this one will be more applicable i think =D

On Saturday i travel to Brutus.

This makes me smile just thinking about it =) Well that and some other, more physical, reactions too =P

They are getting somewhere with the flat.

Bathroom is starting to look nice with walls and floor almost done. Seeing the sink and stuff standing in boxes in the hallway is encouraging (although slightly inconvenient). Everything else is a mess. A complete and utter mess. That is mostly my fault though. Shame on me! This weekend past i had lots to do -i did n o t h i n g!

Well, went to a footie game with The Brat last night (soccer to some of you), it just ended up with one pissed off sulking mum (yes, that's me!).

I'm thinking of going down to the housing office to choose the wallpaper that is going to get put up while i'm gone. Yes they are a c t u a l l y doing it now! (oh please don't get jinxed!)

I'm also planning for the gym.

Although saying "thinking of" and "planning to" is the wrong outlook in my eyes -it always leave an open backdoor to n o t doing it!

So; i'm going down to choose wall paper a n d going to the gym.

There, now i've said it.

Oh and i'm planning on restarting PuSS next weekend -yes, here i say p l a n to, because it kinda depends on activities with Brutus =P

I was also considering having a chat night over on Thoughts and views on Dominance and submission

i need to find an acronym for that! TavoDas? Seems a bit long to me *lol*

How about TvD/s? *LOL* Tv D/s (no we're not gonna start broadcasting! Thought amused me though. I'm easily amused sometimes haha!)

T/vD/s?

Nah! TvD/s it is! (unless someone has a better suggestion?)

So, now you know what i mean if i write that!

OK, about the chat. I need of course check this with Sir, but i figured it would be good timing, me being there to sort technical difficulties in person and all O-=)

What do you guys think of that? You in?

OK, i think that was all.

I'm really tempted to lay down on the sofa and shut my eyes for a bit. I really shouldn't though should i? But i'm s o tired.... =(

C'mon guys peptalk me! Maybe some breakfast will help? I'm starving actually.

Ok, that's it for now.

See ya laters!

Oh, as a little paranthesis: Brutus is on His way home now from never-ever-land! So no chat tonight, but tomorrow He'll be back in the right timezone, a n d it will only be F O U R days left till we're together! *grins*

OK, third time lucky -Ciao!