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Monday, April 16, 2012

Unsettling embraces

The other night i wrote a post i ended with saying that i was gonna try to sleep beside a very restless Sir. And restless He was. Although tossing and turning He had not once removed His hand from me. At first i didn't think anything of it -we like to be close. Over the course of time i noted it more and more, and after having finished the post i turned over to lie in Sir's embrace, and embrace me He did -in fact, He didn't let go for several hours. All night He held on to me like there was no tomorrow, as if i was about to slip through His fingers were He to let go for even a second. If i moved He moved and His embrace grew stronger, holding on even tighter. There was a feeling of desperation over it, which was unsettling. That feeling lingers on.

It was hours before He woke and when i asked Him about it He didn't know what i was speaking of. He seemed genuinely confused over my repetitive questioning if He was alright and asking what's up. I don't think Sir is hiding anything from me, but something is clearly bothering Him, whether He knows it or not.

I am not a worrier. In fact i'm quite the opposite -i tend to ignore and close things out. But for Master i always worry. No, that sounds wrong. I always hold concern for Him. And this, this has me concerned. I think mostly because i don't understand it. Also, Sir himself seems oblivious to it.

I know i needn't worry for Him really, Sir is a strong and capable man - but if i, His subbie, don't worry for Him, then who will? I think it kinda comes with the job description. And it's just how i'm made, i take care of people. For Sir even more so.

Because i love Him. Deeply. And i want nothing but good for Him.

Sir, You hear that?

Nothing but good. Just like You deserve.

I am here, always.

Yours always.

And i love You always.

Know that, and remember it too.

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With love,


melinda Sweetgirl said...

OK, so i published it. It took me a long while to decide to do so, if i even did (decide that is). But here it is.

Sir: i sincerely hope that You do not mind this post. i...i guess i needed to get it off my chest. i hope that's OK.
i love You Sir

April 16, 2012 at 4:42 PM
Elder said...

That is OK and quite innocent melinda. I am sure there are even some disappointed readers out there hoping for some extreme or bizarre fetish. But that might not be disclosed.

Anyway, honestly I do not recall holding on to you so tight. Perhaps it was just because you where trying to escape and I was cold or so. For the record no need for heating if you have melinda around...

April 16, 2012 at 6:22 PM
kiwigirliegirl said...

For me, it sounds like Elder is just feeling secure and loved and content while you are there my friend. ITs a nice feeling, to be held that closely. Enjoy it.
Hugs kiwi xxx

April 16, 2012 at 11:42 PM
melinda Sweetgirl said...

.Kiwi on any and every other night i would have agreed with you. But not this one, or rather that one. I don't know what it is or what it means but i have this nagging feeling, and not a good one. Right now He's laying beside me snoring to His heart's content thoug *Lol*

Sir, no that was not it. But it doesn't really matter anymore. If Sir Himself don't know or understand then there's no hope of me doing so. It kinda ends the story. You say all is well, then i have to take Your word for it don't i? Feeling or no feeling. The important part is that You know i am here. Always.

April 17, 2012 at 12:11 AM
Omega and mouse said...


Omega does that sometimes at night. Odd? Yes. But at the same time, it reminds mouse that even in sleep she belongs to him.


April 18, 2012 at 12:49 AM
melinda Sweetgirl said...

mouse, you are so right it did. That was the one positive thing about it :) and of course the fact that i do love His embrace! It was just... "that feeling" that didn't go down too well with me.
Thank you for reminding this girl about the good in it mouse!

April 18, 2012 at 10:10 AM

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