Types

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Types

There are different kinds of Doms, subs, domination and submission. 

There are Jackasses and fakes. There are Trolls. There are predators. There are those that truly think they are a Dom but in fact only are domineering or even right out male chauvinistic pigs. There are the same of subs. OK maybe they ain't so chauvinistic.
But there's also a small percentage of good ones, and an even smaller percentage of great ones. (I would put mine as the latter, not because He reads this blog but because I'm biased =P)

T1klish's post Selfless Saint or Jackass? inspired Brutus to write a post of His own -I love them both! (blogposts that is, I only love One of them ;) ) Their posts inspired this one (sorry to jump on the wagon! But I found I had some thoughts about it).

T1klish says: 

"One thing I've learned reading BDSM type blogs is that Doms are all selfless saints. Everything they do is for the good of their sub, and they miraculously know what their sub's needs are, better than the sub does."




The good ones does!


But not because they are all-knowing or superhuman or saints -but because they took the time to listen, to get to know their sub; what she wants, needs, likes, dislikes, tolerates and not. What makes her tick. What is she good at? What are her weaknesses? What does she need to work on? Work on to become a better submissive to Him, to be a better person for the people around her, to be happier with herself?


She goes on to say: 


"It just happens that the sub needs exactly what the Dom wants to give.

The Dom wants sex at difficult times for the sub - the sub needs sex at difficult times.

The Dom wants to cause pain - the sub needs pain.

The Dom wants to disfigure the sub - the sub needs to be disfigured.

The Dom wants to humiliate - the sub needs humiliation.

The Dom doesn't want to use a condom - the sub needs the risk of pregnancy and STD's."

Mostly. Sometimes. Yes. Mostly. NO. NO.

That's the answers in my own case. 

I will clarify:

-Brutus is my first Dom. He's defined me as a submissive. Not only as His submissive. He was the One that found the submissive residing deep within me -even if I looked for Him myself.

-I like sex. Simple. And considering I have no other responsibilities than Him when I'm with Him that is easy.

-I'm a masochist, a painslut some might say. I don't only like pain, I crave it. But not because He is a Sadist, but because I am a masochist. I'm lucky, we're compatible that way. The disfigurement ties in with that. This doesn't always mean I want it at exactly the same time as Him. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes we move ahead anyways and I find I did need it and came to like it in the end, often even coming out the other side being more collected and content. Sometimes not. Sometimes He let's me off the hook if I'm really not in the mood for it -or rather that I'm not really in any mood to take it, which in turn won't really give Him anything.

-I'm really not into humiliation - in fact as I've stated before- if something could break me that would be it! So I'm lucky to have a Dom that don't crave it (even though He likes it), because for me that is a show-stopper, it is the most solid hard limit I have I think, well apart from...let's say certain body fluids.And some other stuff. 

-I wouldn't take that risk for another person. Whether I use a condom or not is my choice and I would not have that disrespected in any way.

Like I said, I'm a very lucky girl. I have a Master that want what's best for me. That means that sometimes His wants and needs will be set aside if they collide with mine. Sound un-Domly? If you think about it it's not; He don't want to break His favourite toy. Also His submissive is important to Him and appreciated as a person,  not only a 'plaything'. I think (please correct me if I'm wrong here Sir, although I don't think I am) that the most satisfying part for Him is the fact that He has control over me and that He can use that control for good, to make me "better". Not only for Him, but also for myself. He feeds on me thriving. Especially if it is His doing.

Sir's post was more of a parody. It pointed out how the many different types of Dominants there are. In a comical stereotypical kind of way.

Both T1klish and Sir wrote of the Jackass Dom -there's plenty of them! Most of them I wouldn't even call Doms. Most of them just want a sub to be able to rule over someone without giving anything in return -basically having someone to fuck and adore them anytime they want in any way they want, no questions asked and nothing asked in return. There is no "giving back". There is no thriving.

There are plentyful and plentyful again of them on BDSM oriented dating sites. CollarMe for example. God believe me there are enough jackasses and trolls and pretenders on that site!! I can only say ONE good thing about it; I met Brutus there. I was lucky. The percentage of serious and good Doms is exceedingly low!

I believe the same goes for submissives. Considering there's about 10 submissives to every Dom (or so I've heard) the Doms must have an even harder time sifting through them all.

A "Good Dom" is not scared to show affection. A GD is not afraid to ask for help from His submissive with something where her competence is higher than His. Because He is secure in His role. He is confident in Himself. And He holds confidence in His sub.

As for all the rest they are just Jackasses in one form or another -this includes submissives with the same traits too.

Please note though, as the blog says in the beginning; there are different styles of Dominantion and submission, just as there is different types of Dominants and submissives. All that matters is that the two people match each others wants and needs and style. They need to be compatible.


Like I said I am a lucky girl; not only did I find all that in Him -He's crazy enough to love me as well! Crazy, crazy man... But I love Him too! Crazily so. So we're both a bit crazy I guess -only I'm certified  =P


Certifiably crazy and immensely happy and content. 

Jackass/Pretend Doms go screw yourselves! And let the good subbies find someone good to screw them  

=P

With love,